Page 92 of Coming Up Roses
“I trust you with everything, Flynn. I trust you with a puppy. I trust you with your job. I trust you with this whole fucking place. One of the reasons I can get through each day is I know that you’re here to back me up, always. I know you’ll look after this place, and my family, like it’s your own,because by this point, it is yours. This is your home, Flynn, it always will be. If you want more from it, you say the word.”
“A puppy seems like a good place to start,” I say, trying not to let the wobble in my voice show.
“You don’t have to ask my permission,” she says. “You know that right? About the dog, or about Abi.”
“The thing with Abi is over,” I mutter, turning back to the table because while I could look my best friend in the eyes while she told me I’m a part of this place, I can’t do it while I talk about falling in love with a woman I can’t have. “I need to make some space.”
“Is that what Abi wants?”
“Abi wanted casual. She has her own priorities and I don’t make the list. That’s okay, I just need some time to deal with my feelings over it all.”
“Makes sense. Just maybe check—” Olivia’s phone rings and she groans as she pulls it from her jeans pocket. “Fucking thing never stops.”
She answers the call and talks for a few minutes before jabbing violently at the screen to end the call.
“You need to go?” I say.
“Yep. I’m sorry to cut this short.”
“I’m not,” I say, a small laugh slipping out of me.
Olivia laughs as she stands. “I mean hanging out with my bestie,” she says. “Making you squirm was just a bonus. But don’t shut me out when things get hard, okay? I need you.”
“I promise.” I reach up and wrap my arms around Olivia’s waist before she has a chance to step away. I squeeze her tightand she hugs me back, then pats me on the head and as much as I scowl and swat her hand away, I love the attention.
As Olivia leaves the kitchen, still muttering about whatever it is she has to go and deal with, I pick up my phone and navigate to the puppy listing. I’m going to choose one this weekend. At least with a puppy to keep me busy I won’t have time to wallow in my stupid feelings.
45
ABI
I’m waitingoutside Sadie’s school, still marvelling that this is my life now.
I’m a fully present part of my daughter’s life and this weekend she’ll be staying with me overnight.
I never thought I’d get back to this place, not after Sadie’s accident, when suddenly I couldn’t cope with being left alone with her for five minutes for Dallas to have a break.
Our snails-pace reintroduction to each other has been exactly what I’ve needed to manage my anxiety around having Sadie solely in my care. I appreciate it more than Dallas could ever know.
The bell rings and hordes of children spill from the classrooms. Laughter and chatter echoing around the school.
“Mama!” Sadie shrieks and throws herself into my arms.
I laugh and scoop her up, squeezing her tight before setting her feet back on the ground. She immediately slips her hand into mine.
I want to burst into tears right here in the middle of the sea of children and students.
“Hi,” another mother says to me, a little girl Sadie’s age beside her. “Are you Sadie’s mum?”
“Yeah.” I grin. “Abi.”
“I’m Quinn. This is Ruby. Her and Sadie are good friends.”
“So nice to meet you,” I say, meaning every word.
“Mama, can we play?” Sadie asks, tugging on my hand.
I glance at Quinn and she nods. “Just for a few minutes, Lady Sadie.” She drops my hand and grabs Ruby’s, then they skip off towards the playground together.
