Page 108 of The Heir

What I do know is that baby or no baby, I need my mother and sister at the very least. This thought brings me comfort and silences the whispers inside my head that tell me that thisis too soon.

An hour and a half later I'm in the stirrups doing a pap smear anyways since I don't really want to lie to my husband. What I hadn't considered, however, was how tender I'd be considering our rough lovemaking session just early that morning.

I tense, hissing."Owww."

"I'm sorry, ma'am." My gynecologist, Dr. Linda, tosses me a quick apologetic smile before adjusting the lights and leaning back down between my legs. "I'm trying to be gentle but there's quite a bit of swelling…"

I blush, rolling my lips.

"Have you been sexually active lately? You have some minor tearing though nothing major. The swelling, though, is quite strenuous," she mutters almost to herself.

"Uhm, yeah…. I have."

"Well, I'm only asking because the last couple times you've been in here wasn't like this, and I want to be sure nothing else is going on."

"I got married about a month ago to a new man, not the person I was with during those other times." I bet if I look in the mirror, my face would be fire engine red. "S-Sex is very different with my husband than it was with my ex."

"A good thing?"

I pause. "Very."

Dr. Linda throws me a smile. "Good. If the swelling is a thing that you're anticipating experiencing frequently, I suggest a medicine to help. Now, I'll send this sample off to be tested. You're free to put on your clothes and while you're getting dressed I will look at the results of your pregnancy test. It should be ready."

I nod, taking my feet out of the stirrups and then sitting up, wiping myself with the wet towel she hands me. I dress quickly, anxious for the results; however, I don't have to wait long. A few minutes later I'min the chair meant for guests, not the client table, when she comes back in with a sheet of paper.

"Mrs. King, I come back bearing news."

I blink, not responding because I already know in my heart. I just need a health care professional to validate it for me. Why I've always been this way, I'll never know. But at some point, I need to learn to trust in my gut instinct.

"You're pregnant, Mrs. King." Her eyes are kind as she looks at me.

I inhale. My lips parting as I take in the confirmation.

What do I tell King? More importantly,whendo I tell him? My heart breaks as I fear that he might not want this. He didn't sign up for a baby… not in the first six weeks of kidnapping me.

As I walk out into the waiting room and see Xavier in a seat looking up at me from a magazine, my hand settles on my belly as I let myself think of a future where I have my own child to protect and love. I stand for a second and let myself explore for the first time having something for myself that I truly desire.

I want this, with or without him.

But, I can't help but want him to want this too.

We make our way into the elevator and I'm silent the whole way down, carrying the weight of this alone, wishing I would have been brave enough to bring King with me so that I could get a good look at his face in front of the doctor instead of waiting until I was home.

A plethora of emotions swamp me, quickly becoming overwhelming. Once outside I climb into the waiting car, lowering my head into my hands and cry, uncaring of Dennis in the front seat.

God, what do I do?

Am I doomed to repeat history all over again with my own child, giving them a father that won't be present? Or worse, a father who hates my child because he didn't want them?

"Ma'am, are you okay?" Dennis asks softly, looking at me in the review mirror.

Sniffing, I rub my hands down my cheeks and heave a deep sigh. "Yes, I just need a minute. Can you just sit here for a bit? I'm not ready to leave yet," I say in a hushed tone, wiping my eyes and staring out the window, trying to hide my crying.

Chapter twenty-four

Don't Ask Me To

"What did you find?Is she okay?"I walk purposefully out the building, headed to my car. I had Gustavo bring it to me as Isobel has taken forever at the doctor. I hate that she was so insistent I can't go, but even Carlotta has assured me that it's frowned upon for a man to be there during a pap smear.