Page 9 of Shock & Awe
Sean nodded and finally looked up. His expression gave nothing away, but I decided to test things anyway. I stretched slightly and extended my right leg until I brushed against his. I saw him blink slowly, but instead of saying anything, he lifted his fork and took another bite.
Is that how it’s going to be, then?I thought to myself as I felt a little anger rise for the first time. These little teases were something I had dealt with over the years, but something about this time had me reacting differently. Maybe it was time to do a little teasing of my own.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Sean
Ididn’t know when I lost control of the situation, but what had started as me pushing a little to see how Rod would respond had quickly turned into me second-guessing things. I hadn’t planned on playing footsie with him under the table in a fucking Denny’s, but something about being alone with him had me testing the waters. I hadn’t been expecting the brush back or for him to trap my calf between his own for the remainder of the meal. The warmth of him had me swallowing hard and trying not to think about what else I’d like to feel. Being back on the road left me in a similar sort of limbo. The comfort I had always felt with Rod was still there but interwoven with this sense of something new.
My phone ringing was a welcome break in my musings, and I quickly grabbed it, not bothering to look at who it was. “Hello?”
“We’re home!”
I winced and moved the phone away from my ear before putting it on speaker. “Since you want to yell, you’re on speaker. Speak and be heard.”
“Whatever,” Cameran said, amusement clear in her voice. I could hear Julie saying something in the background, but it was too muffled to make out. “Julie asked how things are going and where are you?”
I looked out the window. “Fuck if I know. All I see are hills and trees.”
“We’re about two hours outside of our first stop,” Rod jumped in helpfully. I held the phone closer to him so he wouldn’t have to bend and tried not to stare at his lips as he spoke. “We’re actually stopping in Helena at a cute little bed and breakfast.”
Cameran’s hum was soft, and it was Julie who spoke up. “Helena as in Montana? Are there Black people out there?”
“Are there Black people in Montana at all?” Cameran asked. “Is it safe?”
“We’ll be alright,” Rod reassured. He sounded far more positive than I felt, but I decided to keep that to myself. We were already on the road, and there was no point in getting Cameran worked up. “I don’t have anything planned for the evening other than grabbing a good shower and sinking into a comfortable bed. Tomorrow we’ll be up and out early so we can make it to Denver before dark. We’ll be there for two days.”
“Well, at least we know there are Black people in Denver,” Cameran muttered. Rod looked at me with a crooked smile, and I tried to give him a reassuring one back. I trusted him to know what he was doing. “Okay, call me when you get settled in your room. Send pictures.”
“Will do,” I replied before disconnecting the call. I sat back and stared over at Rod. He seemed perfectly content and not at all worried. The thought of him being on the road this long alone made me happy that I had come. He looked over at me.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“The way you’re staring at me doesn’t seem like nothing,” he countered. “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”
I rolled my eyes. “I got your pretty. It’s nothing,” I insisted even though I knew he wouldn’t let it go. He was like a dog with a bone when he decided he needed to know something. If not for how damn smart he was, I would think he graduated medical school by sheer stubbornness alone. “I’m just glad I came with you. I know you’re a big boy, but I would have— Cameran would have been worried about you traveling all this way alone.”
“Hey,” he said softly before reaching over and placing a hand on my thigh. “I would have been fine, but for what it’s worth, I am really glad you came too. I wouldn’t have wanted you to be worried.”
I crossed my arms and looked out my window. “Who said I would have been worried?” The soft squeeze on my thigh did horrible things to my cool, but I didn’t turn back around, instead watching Rod’s reflection in the window. He kept glancing at me with a small grin on his face, and selfishly, I hoped I was the only one who ever saw that soft look on his face.
~*~*~
“Rod.”
“Yeah?”
“We have a problem.” I let my duffle bag slip off my shoulder, tightening my hold before it fell to the floor. “We need to go talk to the front desk.”
Rod prompted me forward with a hand on the small of my back, and I stumbled slightly as I passed through the doorway. After living all my life in Atlanta, driving through a town and seeing no Black people was startling, butthiswas enough to send me into orbit.
“It’s fine, Sean.”
“It’s not fine, Rod,” I replied, my voice rising slightly. “How can you say this is fine when…”No, no, no. None of this is fine. I won’t survive this.I walked further into the room, and the soft snick of the door being closed behind me was almost like a gavel being struck, sentencing me to a lifetime behind bars. I blinked a couple more times to see if maybe it was a trick of my vision, but nothing worked.
“One bed.” The damn thing looked inviting in the way only hell could manifest as temptation. “It’s not even a king.”