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As if my rasped plea unlocks him, he takes my leggings in his hands and tears the flimsy fabric from the waistband down. He lifts my ass and hips and wrenches them away. My upper body falls back against the car. I catch myself before my head hits metal, grinding my spine down, letting my ass bite into the cold to protect myself.
Gray’s huge, tattooed hand pushes my thighs apart. He spreads me out, bare and glistening for him. I didn’t bother with panties, I was in such a rush to meet him. There is nothing between him and me and the wide and endless night.
“Goddamn, you Lark,” he curses in a white billowing fog. “God fucking damn you for infecting me. You’re a siren, a soul eater, temptation that I can’t bear. You’re the fall of the world, you’re the ruin of mankind. I hate that I haven’t been able to look at or touch another woman since you left. There has been no one since I took you to prom. No fucking one.”
“Gray…” I try to sit up, reality crashing back brutally. “I’m sorry.” This isn’t worth hurting him beyond repair. “We don’t have to do this. Even if I leave tonight, even if none of what I begged you for can be true, even if no one ever knows, it isn’t worth ruining the best parts of you. I don’t want to be your biggest mistake and your worst regret. I wasn’t thinking. All I want is you and that’s all I’ve been able to fixate on. I knew what the cost would be, but I came here and demanded it anyway.”
His hands curl into my thighs, gripping hard enough that I know I’ll be bruised by morning. “Leave? You’d just go? One night would be enough for you?”
“Never, but my heart… your heart… it matters more than this.”
“You’d be my queen for a night and in the morning, what? We pretend like it never happened?”
Shit. I see the darkness gathering in his eyes. Clouds and violence that I’ve never seen in him before. I’ve made him angry, coming here like this. Acting like a temptress. Luring him to break his oath and dishonor himself. I can’t look at him. I drop my eyes, the scalding brand of true shame washing over me.
Gray tugs me up and gathers me in his arms. He holds me tenderly, a brutal breath breaking from his lungs and warming the side of my neck. “You might be my ruin, or my downfall, but you’ll never be a dirty secret. I would never claim you and mark you and leave you. You want to stand at my side as my queen? You’ll be my queen. You’ll be my world. I’ll make everyone and anyone who questions us see that it’s right. I’ll make your brother understand.”
I clutch him close, fists in his jacket again, craving his skin and his closeness. I want his skin so badly, his body, his heart and soul, his life.
A pang of fear clatters through me, nearly drowning everything else out. Gray isn’t a normal man, and I am painfully ordinary. I’ve lived a good girl, sheltered life. Whatever made me think I could step out of that and into his brand of ordered darkness?
“Are you a virgin?” His question thunders through my blood.
“Y-yes,” I stammer right near his ear. “I belong to you and no one else.”
“Fuck.”
I think that’s a bad thing before I lift my head and see the tenderness written all over his face. I threw Gray’s keys away like a spoiled little brat, but he doesn’t need them. He carries me across the dark yard to the white farmhouse that looms over us. Two stories with an ancient porch. I pick out a few other shadowy hulks of buildings I didn’t notice before from over his shoulder. He carries me like I’m air, his hard body pounding and swaying against me.
There’s a camera at the door. I can see its glowing eye. He punches in a code at an angle I can’t see and crashes through. He locks it behind him and thunders through the dark, boots pounding their way up the stairs. The house might be old, but it’s warm and it smells good. Wood smoke and oil and the man it belongs to.
Gray barges through an open door and sets me down with care on his bed. He turns and switches on a lamp on his dresser across the room. It makes me want to giggle and cry at the same time. That silly pink and purple lava lamp I got him as a gift one year, more of a joke than anything. I found two matching ones at a garage sale and gave one to my brother and one to Gray.
“You kept it.” My voice is thick and heavy. I slam my legs shut, suddenly shy in the light in here, even if it’s not much.
It paints the room in sunset hues, reflecting off the brass headboard and footboard, the surprisingly antique dressers.
“Did they leave this behind? The people who had the house before?”
Gray’s lips turn up at the corner as he removes his jacket, he makes shrugging it off look like the hottest strip show on the planet. He tugs his t-shirt over his head, and I’m dizzy as soon as I see all the scrolling black and gray ink working its way overhis roped muscles. I’ve seen Gray without a shirt more than a few times, but it hits different knowing that my hands and mouth are going to be all over him. Knowing that he’ll be mine, that he’ll find a way to make us anusif I’m brave enough to let him.
I never thought much past this night. Wishes don’t come true in real life.
Gray toes off his boots. His belt is already unbuckled, even though he’s tucked himself back in. He slides his belt through the loops but tosses it aside. I still get a vivid image of him welting my ass with it. I’ve read too much smut. My life was boring and safe. I had to escape somehow.
He slips out of his jeans like he’s going to throw them over a chair at the end of the day before he climbs into bed alone. He’s not, though. I’m here. I’m watching. He’s undressing forme.
When his boxers come down and he’s totally naked, I take the time to fully appreciate him. I’m not afraid to look. I just still can’t believe this is real. It’s happening.
It’s not enough to just look. My mouth waters because I need to taste. My hands itch to touch. I want his wild strength harnessed under me. I want him to get on top of me and fuck me into his mattress, imprint me in his bed and his life. I want to mark him and leave my scent all over him.
I’m still wearing my stupid jacket and sweater. I sit up and peel them away, flinging them to the floor until I’m as naked as Gray. He tore my leggings off. I have no idea what I’ll wear home. His sweats? Jesus, I want to wear his clothes. I want something of his with me at all times. I’m not crazy enough to think this could happen overnight. It would take months, maybe even years for us to truly be able to be together. We have lives. Mine is in Seattle. Gray has the club here. If our lives are trulygoing to merge, I want it to be right. Right means waiting for a time that is not going to shatter anyone when they learn about us.
My parents. Raiden. The club.
As if he can hear the force of my thoughts, Gray kneels before me. I can only marvel at the tangle of long, thick hair, this strong and powerful man on his knees on the floor before me. He might have understood me as an eternity of no, but once he’s made up his mind about something, there’s no undoing it. All of his energy is focused in that direction. If I know anything about him, it’s that.
No one has ever touched me like he’s touching me. I hit the bed hard, but it’s still so much softer than his cold car outside. He spreads my thighs apart. His hands might be calloused and stained, tattooed and scarred, but he’s gentle. He bends his head and places kisses on my sensitive skin, so fucking close to the seam of me. I’m soaked for him. Leaking all over the place.
