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He groaned as Robby’s kisses moved down the column of his neck. The hot, wet swipe of the man’s tongue made him forget how to breathe. All of his life, this was what he was missing. This consuming fire, this fierce connection.
Panting, he tunneled his fingers through Robby’s thick, dark, glorious hair. He could barely remember a time where he hadn’t wanted to touch it, slide it away from covering his beauty, see if it felt as soft as it looked. Teeth grazed the cords of his neck, and his fingers tightened, tugging gently—
And before he could blink, Robby was breathing heavy, hunched over, several feet away, near the front door. It happened so fast, he barely registered the man scrambling out of his arms and across the room.
“What?” Matt couldn’t even form a coherent question.
Robby’s arms curled around his waist, but he said nothing. His eyes were squeezed tightly shut.
Ignoring the ache in his cock, he replayed the last thirty seconds in his mind. He came up with nothing. At least his brain was starting to work. “Robby?” he asked slowly. “Did I do something wrong?”
Robby’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. “No.” Opening his eyes, he blinked rapidly. “You didn’t know.Ididn’t even know.”
“You’re not making a lot of sense right now.”
Robby leaned against the wall and slid down to sit on the floor. “I’m sorry.”
Screw sorry. The guy had nothing to be sorry for. Something spooked him. “It was something I did.” Moving slowly, Matt slid down from the sofa and crab walked a few feet closer. “My hands were in your hair. Did it freak you out?”
“You pulled it.”
Did he? Maybe a little, but he didn’t think it was very hard. “I hurt you?”
“No. No, of course not.” Robby rubbed at his eyes. “It just brings up some bad memories, I guess.”
They must be someverybad memories. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not even a little. What I want is to forget it.” Robby’s voice was soft but implacable. He was holding back, but Matt wouldn’t strong arm him into sharing if he wasn’t ready.
“I won’t do it again.” He’d be damned if he put a haunted expression on Robby’s face ever again. “The hair thing, I mean. Because the kissing thing, I would definitely be down to repeat.”
Some of the clouds moved away from Robby’s eyes…but not all of them. “Really?”
“It was better than anything.” Matt chewed on his bottom lip. “I don’t really have a lot to compare it to, though. I’m way behind the curve on this one.”
Warmth burned in his cheeks. “The truth is, I don’t even know how to go forward from here. I know the mechanics, obviously, but for all intents and purposes, I’m a virgin. And the sex thing, I’ve got to tell you, it freaks me out.”
Robby scooted closer and tentatively took his hand. “You never have to do anything you feel uncomfortable with.” He rubbed his thumb along the skin just above Matt’s wrist. “I’m not going to lie. I want everything with you. But only when you’re ready.”
“What if I never am?” Matt held his breath.
“Then I’ll be happy with whatever you have to give.” Robby kissed his temple, and he could breathe again. “As much I want to stay here with you, I need to get going.”
Already? It felt like the night just started. He pulled back, searching Robby’s eyes for a sign he’d made a mistake.
But the man smiled as he climbed to his feet. “I’m volunteering tomorrow morning at an LGBT center. I haven’t had the chance to meet too many of the kids yet, and I want to make a good impression.”
He accepted the hand Robby offered to help him up. “We’re good, then? You sure?”
Robby pulled him into a hug, then kissed his cheek. “Better than good.” He walked to the door, turning with hand on the knob. “Thanks for taking a chance on me.”
Taking a chance? If anyone was taking a chance, it was Robby. But Matt wouldn’t look this gift horse in the mouth. He wouldn’t mess things up—not like he did with Patty. His screw-up had cost him years of friendship.
Somehow, he knew, losing what he had with Robby would be something he’d never get over. And something he’d never find again.
Chapter
SEVENTEEN
