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“And?”
“Would I have done it sober? Probably not.”
Robby put one hand over his mouth and wrapped his opposite arm around his waist. Wounded.
“I don’t mean that the way it sounded. This is why I don’t like talking. I always screw it up.” He flexed his fingers in frustration. “What I meant was the shots gave me the courage to take what I really wanted.”
Dropping the hand from his face, Robby moved his right arm to hug himself entirely. “But you said you didn’t know what you wanted. The other night—”
“You mean, the first time we kissed…at your apartment? Ididn’tknow. I needed time to think, to figure things out.” He stepped closer. “And things have changed since then.” His phone pinged again. And again. And again.
“Just answer it,” Robby growled.
With so many texts, it could only be Patty. He pulled the phone out of his back pocket, and sure enough, a half dozen messages from her lit the screen. “She needs me to watch Jimmy. They called her in to work tonight.” He quickly typed back an answer. “I’ve got to go. But listen, I want to talk this through. Tonight? Please? I’ll take him to my mom’s. You can come by my place, maybe seven o’clock?”
Robby released his arms and let them hang at his sides. “Sure. I’ll be there.”
He needed to hustle if Patty was going to make the start of her shift. He got halfway to the door before he looked back over his shoulder. “Hey, Rob? Don’t give up on me yet.”
***
A smart man would have used the time before seven to figure out exactly how to put his feelings into words, but as the doorbell rang, Matt knew no one could ever accuse him of being smart. To be fair, Jimmy was cutting some new teeth, and it had made him super-cranky when he dropped him off. All of his regular methods to comfort and entertain him had come up short.
He barely had time for a shower and change of clothes before Robby arrived. At least he’d be clean when he made a hash of things tonight.
Thank God he’d scrubbed the living room down last night. He’d had to mop the floor twice and spray Lysol to get rid of the puke smell.
He opened the door to solid evidence Robby had run home to shower as well. His wavy brown hair was still damp and combed out of his face. He wore soft pale blue jeans and a lightweight long-sleeve green sweater which set off those gorgeous brown eyes to perfection. Gorgeous, but definitely anxious as well. “Come in.”
Robby shoved his hands deep into his pockets as he slipped into the room and stood next to the arm of the sofa. “You wanted to talk.”
“Can we sit?”
Wordlessly, Robby slid onto the couch and folded his arms in front of him.
“You aren’t the only guy I’ve ever kissed.”
“But you said—”
“What I told you before was true at the time.” Matt sat beside Robby, who promptly shot to his feet.
“You mean you made out with some guyafterwe kissed each other?” No more Subdued Robby now. The man’s eyes blazed with—anger? Jealousy?
Not fair. Matt stood to face him. “Hey, hey. Don’t look at me like that. You seemed to have some connection with Chandler.”
“I didnot,” Robby sputtered.
“But you were with him Sunday.”
“Only because I couldn’t be withyou!” The words hung in the air, sucking up all of the oxygen in the room. Two dull red spots darkened Robby’s cheeks, and the longer the silence held, the bigger they got. “Besides. The guy is married.”
“I didn’t know.” Matt groaned, rubbing his eyes. “Can we please sit down?” He waited until Robby returned to the sofa before he retook his seat. “I’ve never—felt attracted to women. I couldn’t even fake it. I never tried. Which made me kind of a target in high school. I didn’t ever fit with anyone until Patty became my friend. She was my lifeline; sometimes she felt like my only connection to the human race.”
He ran his damp palms over his khaki-covered thighs. “I knew I was missing something. The way other guys always talked about girls…I could look at someone and find them attractive, but I never wanted to do anything about it. I looked at dirty magazines, internet porn. Nothing. The night Patty and I—there was something. It was a little something, but I grabbed onto it with both hands. I thought maybe I could fake it ’til I made it.”
Heat rushed into his face. “Obviously, I was able to see it through, but when I thought about it, it just felt wrong. I kept trying, but it was a bust. When Patty realized we could never—I could never—she just lost it, you know?”
“You told me.”
