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When it got close to quitting time, he finally worked up the nerve to ask the guys where he was.
Brick wiped his forehead with the bandana he kept in his back pocket. “Some meeting with Xander at the main office, but he said he’d drop by before the end of the day.” He checked his phone. “Soon, I’d guess. You’ve got his number, right?”
“Yeah, thanks.” This wasn’t the kind of conversation you handled with a phone call.
Maybe it was a mixed blessing. He’d tried all day to figure out what he should say. How he should feel. Though some of the details from Wednesday night were hazy, the high points had branded in his brain.
Like the kiss. The way his body reacted. The way Robby had shut him down so completely.
But it wasn’t from lack of desire. He remembered the thick, insistent ridge of Robby’s arousal pressing against him. The naked lust. Every time he thought about it, his body stirred all over again.
How did he put it all into words? Expressing himself had never been his strong suit.
You said if this is something I still want, we would have a conversation. Well, I still want—
What? What did he want?
I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened between us the other night. And I want you to know I still feel—
Turned on? Hard?
The truth, yes, but Robby deserved better. No way the guy was the love ‘em and leave ‘em type. But what kind of promises could he make? He knew squat about being a boyfriend…to a man or a woman. And while he knew the idea of kissing Robby revved his engine, he couldn’t quite wrap his head around the sex part.
What if Robby wanted to—
Of course, he’d want to.
Following the thread to its logical conclusion made his stomach clench. Objectively, he knew anal sex didn’t have to be painful. If it wasn’t possible for it to feel good, no one would do it.
He’d tried porn of all kinds over the years, hoping he could jump start his non-existent libido. Soft core. Hard core. Girl on guy. Girl on girl. Guy on guy. Some of the stuff in the videos looked like it hurt no matter what the doctored audio sounded like. And none of it turned him on.
But Robby did, and the thought brought him back full circle.
“Matt?”
Speak of the devil. Robby stood in the doorway to the unfinished garage, hugging his clipboard to his chest. Shadow covered part of his face, thanks to the approaching dusk. His tousled brown hair spilled over his left eye, but he made no move to push it away.
“I’m glad you’re here.” Matt regretted the words as soon as he said them, not because he didn’t mean it, but because he so very much did. Clearing his throat, he tried again. “I was afraid—Brick said you were in a meeting with Xander.”
Robby stepped farther into the room and leaned against the counter. “You were afraid?”
“That’s not what I meant to say.”
“Oh.” There was a world of disappointment in the one syllable.
“I was, though. Afraid, I mean. Afraid you were avoiding me.” He reached down for the water bottle at his feet. His mouth hadn’t been this dry a minute ago. Not only did the lukewarm water wet his tongue, it gave him a welcome distraction, if only for a moment.
“Avoiding you?” Robby laughed, but it was a hollow sound. “You weren’t even here yesterday. The guy who works through walking pneumonia, and you don’t come in the day after we…”
Crap. Matt hadn’t even thought about how his absence would look. “I’m sorry. I should have realized.” A text message pinged his phone, but he ignored it. “The only time I could lift my head for hours was to throw my guts up. I’ve never been so sick in my entire life, man. Guess I found my limit with alcohol.”
“Do you remember everything that happened?”
Ugh. Why did this have to be so awkward? He stared at his feet.
“You can say what’s on your mind. No one will hear you.” Robby sighed. “The rest of the guys were leaving when I pulled up.”
“I’m not worried about the guys.” Damn if he wasn’t making a mess of this. “I remember kissing you.” The phone pinged again, and the corners around Robby’s eyes tightened. “I remember you were worried about whether I did it because I was drunk.”
