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He dragged the shirt over his head. “No. Iamthe danger.”
She stood to face him. “I’m not afraid of you. You would never hurt me.”
“I killed a man,” he said harshly, and her eyes widened. “After I left you. Merry fucking Christmas. You still want me now?”
“Always.” She touched his arm, and he shook her off.
“You’re not listening to me. I killed someone. I blew his fucking brains out, and I would do it again. I probablywilldo it again, if I can get my hands on the rest of the bastards responsible for what happened to Scott.” He wrapped his hands around her upper arms and shook her gently. “You do not want me in your life, baby. Right now, I’m poison.”
Her fingers clutched the necklace he gave her for Christmas. God, it felt like a lifetime ago. “But you love me,” she whispered.
“God, woman, of course I love you. I always have and I probably always will.” The words felt ripped from his chest. “It doesn’t mean we can make this work. Sometimes, love isn’t enough. Or maybe, I love you too much to let you near this toxic life of mine. Either way, the end result is the same.”
“Don’t do this, Kane.” Her green eyes shone with unshed tears. “We’re better together. We’restrongertogether.”
“No.” His voice was implacable.
She made a broken sound in the back of her throat. “It was supposed to be forever this time.”
He walked past her into the living room, where he pulled on a jacket and stuffed his feet into the boots beside the door. “You can’t be involved in this world, Mandy.” He summoned the words that refused to leave his memory, even after years of trying to chase them away. “Don’t call me; I won’t answer. Don’t try to see me. I love you, but you are no longer part of my life.” He opened the door and spoke without looking back. “Leave the key under the mat on your way out.”
Heart in his throat, he walked away and closed the door, leaving the love of his life behind him.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE
Amanda
Amanda managed to hold it together until Kane closed the door behind him. Only then did she walk woodenly back to his bed and curl up into a ball. His pillow still smelled like him. Would she have to go the rest of her life without smelling him again? Would the memory of it melt away as it had before?
Would she have to go back to the half-life she’d been living without him in it? The idea of it opened the floodgate of tears she’d held back in front of him. Clutching his pillow to her, she let her agony escape in heaving sobs.
It wasn’t fair. They’d just found their way back to each other. And once again, her father was getting his way. He always did.
She cried for what felt like hours until all her tears ran dry. When she sat up, her insides felt hollow, like someone had scooped her out and left only the shell in place. She’d hoped never to feel such emptiness again.
There had to be a way to stop all this. God knew Kane wouldn’t listen to her, but maybe there was someone else who could get through to him. She picked up her phone and scrolled through her contacts until she found the name she was looking for.
Brick’s voicemail picked up.
“Hi. This is Amanda Griffin. First, I want to thank you for your help at the site last week. If you and the other guys hadn’t been there, I don’t know what would have happened to me. I’m calling because I need your help again. Kane needs your help.” She drew a shaky breath. “Someone killed his brother. I think my dad had something to do with it. Now, Kane—he’s not himself—I’m afraid for him. And he wants nothing to do with me. I’m begging you. Please help him. He needs a friend. I’m going to go deal with my dad. Maybe between the two of us, we can keep this from getting worse.”
She disconnected without saying goodbye. There was no way to know when Brick would get her message or if he’d take her seriously, but it was time to do her part.
Climbing from the bed, she stood in front of the mirror and put herself to rights. She wouldn’t give her father the satisfaction of seeing her disheveled. Fresh lipstick and a comb through her hair left her looking almost as good as new.
She fought the urge to take the pillow with her when she walked out of the room. Instead, she stopped to scribble a short note and left it on the table. As he’d asked, she put the key under the mat on her way out.
***
No traffic slowed her down on the way to her father’s house, so Amanda made it there in quick time. Normally he wouldn’t be there during the week, but his office was closed between Christmas and New Year’s.
She let herself in the front door, and Terrence scuttled over in dismay. “Miss Griffin. Is your father expecting you?”
“No. Where is he?” She hated putting the kind old man in the center of her family problems, but she knew him well enough to recognize he wouldn’t simply leave her alone.
“He’s in the study, ma’am, but—”
