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She almost said it aloud before she realized how awful it would sound. Her grief had consumed her so much, it never even occurred to her Iz considered Carol a friend too. Maybe not the same way, but her death affected every life she touched. “I’m sorry. It was too hard. It’s still too hard, really. I need you, though. I need you to help me be strong. Help me feel safe.”
Iz resumed her stretching, her face carefully blank. “This Jonathan makes you feel safe?”
“Someone would have to go through him to get to me. He’s always been worried about keeping me safe. So yeah. But I want to do the same for him. I get the idea no one has ever fought for him before. Hell, he doesn’t even think he’s worth fighting for, but he is.” She clucked her tongue on the roof of her mouth. “Maybe it sounds dumb, but Mom said love doesn’t always make sense.”
Iz switched her stretch to the other side with a wistful smile. “Yes, she did.”
Giving up any pretense of stretching, she squatted down to get eye level with her sister. “Even though I feel safe with him, Iz, I need to feel safe alone too. Will you help me?”
Izzy completed her stretch, then gracefully came to her feet. “How about I start with showing you how to escape a chokehold from behind?” Her sister stepped behind her and locked a forearm against her throat.
Instinctively, her hands reached up to pry it off. No matter how hard she struggled, Iz didn’t budge. When her sister finally let go, she did it because she chose to.
“You’re never going to free yourself by thrashing around. In most cases, your attacker will be bigger than you. Stronger. You compensate by being smarter and faster.” Iz stood in front of her. “This time, you come behind me.”
She wrapped her arm around Izzy’s neck the same way her sister had done to her, but in seconds, Iz had escaped her grasp. She had no idea how it happened.
“We’ll do it again, but in slow motion.”
She returned to her position behind Iz.
“Start by bringing your hands up, on your attacker’s hand, the other on his forearm.” Slowly, Iz showed her where to put her hands. “Tuck your chin to the left. Then push your left shoulder into the guy’s chest. It’s going to put a little space between you.” Izzy’s body moved in time with her explanation. “Now step back around him with your left foot and duck out under his arm.”
Like fucking Houdini, Iz got out.
“Now you, Nugget.” They went through the steps three more times, until finally she managed to shimmy loose, and Iz called it a night.
For the first time, she’d learned something at the gym that gave her hope she might be able to protect herself if she had to.
Iz joined her as they headed for the door. “You said love a minute ago. Love doesn’t always make sense. Are you in love with Jonathan, Liv?”
“I think I might be.” She hefted her bag onto her shoulder. “But one thing I know for sure—I’m not going to give up the chance to find out.”
***
Brick
The crowd at El Cabron swelled a little thicker on a Sunday night during football season. Not because many of the guys in Brick’s neighborhood were Falcons fans, but because most of them had a bet on the books over the point spread. Sucre took in as much cash making books as he did pushing drugs or loaning cash.
Before Brick even settled in his regular chair, Sucre got down to business. “I need a cleanup on Lorenzo.”
Did he hear Sucre right? Lorenzo was supposed to have one more day to pay off his debt.
Sucre ran his hand over the lapel of his burgundy suit jacket. “He’s been running his mouth. And he pulled a gun on you.”
“Yes, sir. I fucked up his wrist and his elbow for the disrespect.”
“I want him dead. You and I both know he doesn’t have the money. He lost it all on the ponies. I want you to take Tre and make an example of Señor Carpenter.”
His boss meant for him to leave a mess behind. This shit would never end. “Consider it done.” He returned to his feet, ready to get his dirty job started.
Tre waited for him by the bar. “Dude is finally gonna get what’s coming to him.”
“Yeah, but what you’ve got to take away from this is, Sucre made the call to pull the plug on this guy. It’s never our call. You kill somebody when it’s not ordered, and you set yourself up for a world of pain.”
Tre nodded darkly. “Yeah. I got it.”
It occurred to him Sucre hadn’t specified Tre’s role for the night. Maybe he could save himself a little more blackness on his soul and channel the kid’s darker impulses at the same time. “Sucre said to make this one dirty. Seems to me, you might enjoy that sort of thing. You want to take the lead tonight?”
