AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"I know what you mean," I say. "I've loved boyfriends before, but I've never loved them more than work. I never felt that same pull to discover every single nugget of information. I never felt like I could spend my entire life studying them and still find more."
"Is that how you define love?"
"Of course not. I'm a scientist. I know love is a chemical reaction, in our brains, one a lot like addiction. And there's the bonding from oxytocin. We'll feel that if we stare into someone's eyes or touch them skin to skin. Or orgasm with them."
He raises a browback to sex already, but he doesn't say anything to call me on it.
"But that doesn't really explain it, does it. It's like saying marriage is a legal contract. It's true. But it's not the whole story."
He nodsthat's true. "We're already married to our jobs. We don't have room for someone else."
"Maybe." It's the most obvious explanation. And it certainly fits my life right now. I choose work, my passion, over friends and family. I'm leaving the state. I'm moving to the other side of the country. That means something. But it doesn't have to mean I'm incapable of truly loving someone forever. "We have three weeks, right? If you really do want this for real one day, we canpractice. Try to see what it means, to really count on someone, let them help you."
"How does that work?"
"I'm not sure," I say. "Maybe we just try. Or we could go back to talking sexual fantasies. That's less awkward."
He smiles as if to sayfar less awkward.
"And, well, you didn't tell me yours yet. So… whenever you're ready. I'm here. I'm waiting."
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Daphne
"It's a bad habit." Jackson takes another bite of red curry, chews, swallows. He speaks with an even, calm voice, as if I just asked him what he thinks of lunch, notwhat's your darkest fantasy. "Depriving people of information." His eyes meet mine. "One I learned at work."
"Is that why you're holding out on me?" I ask. "Because you're a lawyer?"
"That's part of it." He takes another bite. He stays in control. "Mostly, I like to draw it out. I like to tease a woman for as long as I can." His voice drops to a tone I recognize from last night. From an hour ago. The one he uses to dirty talk. "Sometimes, for days."
"Days?" My throat goes dry. My stomach drops. I don't have days to wait. And even if I did, I don't want to wait for them. Not now. I want this. I want this secret. I want everything.
But maybe this is the start of that.
Maybe this is his fantasy.
Torturing a poor, innocent woman with days of anticipation.
He watches my expression with a coy half-smile. I'm eager and he can tell.
He likes it, sure, and I like that he likes it, but I still feel at a distinct disadvantage.
I want him to tease me, yes, but I want to tease him back just as hard.
He lets me stew in anticipation for a minute, then he continues, "I love to wait. Especially in the beginning. Especially if there's an intense chemistry. If I know a woman wants to fuck me senseless, I walk her to her door, and I kiss her like I'm going to take her, and I say good night."
"And you just leave?" I ask.
He nods. "If I have the will to do it." Something drops into his voice. A raw edge. He's struggling to stay in control.
But I'm struggling more. I take a deep breath and let out a slow exhale. I take a long drink of water. I'm playing this game too. I'm irresistible too. "Do you ever break?"
"Sometimes," he says. "I test myself. See how long I can go."
"Are you going to do that with me?" I ask.
"If you want me to." He takes a long sip of his tea and sits up straight, collecting his thoughts and turning them into something coherent. Then, he speaks with some strange mix of control and raw desire. He's ready to tell me this, but he's letting go of something too. "That's one of my fantasies. I admit, to a woman I'm trying to delay satisfaction. She finds out and she teases me until I have to give in."
