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Chapter One
Daphne
Medically speaking, masturbation is all upsides. The act strengthens the pelvic floor, reduces stress, improves libido, and releases positive neurotransmitters.
Unlike partnered sex, masturbation comes with no risk of pregnancy, STIs, or falling for unworthy men. There's no struggle to communicate needs or discuss preferences or draw boundaries.
I don't have to remind a guy to grab a condom.
I don't have to explainno, of course, I didn't come. Like most women, I need clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
I don't have to watch him wither from a simple suggestion, as if a request for more, less, harder, faster is a direct hit on his ego.
And I certainly don't have to worry if he's watched so much porn, he expects me to writhe with pleasure from all sorts of acts most women don't particularly enjoy.
It's not just men, of course. Most people don't understand basic biomechanics. As a future sex researcher, I see the breadth of the problem, and I intend to work to solve it.
In my professional life.
In my off time—
What was I saying about the benefits of masturbation? They're not just medical. They're emotional and mental too.
Sex is like anything, really. I can't count on anyone else to take care of me. I take care of myself.
Why did I ever think this would be any different?
Masturbation is the perfect solution to horniness. In theory. There's just one little, tiny issue.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I tell the issue to dissolve into my exhale. I focus on my surroundings. The low hum of the fan. The warm glow of the sun. The soft cotton sheets against my skin.
I try to stay present in the moment.
I fail.
Instead, I go straight to my happy place: Jackson Steele.
My best friend's brother. The gruff, protective, hard-working lawyer three years my senior. The guy who's been in my spank bank for so long he's worn a groove into my brain.
The oxytocin leads to self-love… and a deeper attraction.
And knowing he's off-limits?
There's a reason there's so much student-teacher porn out there. The things we see as attractive in puberty stay sexy. And taboo is always titillating.
People who claim they want an equal society without power imbalances are more likely to participate in BDSM.
People who preach family values are more likely to partner-swap.
And I, the strictly science, future medical researcher who professessisters before mistersevery chance I get, fantasize about my bestie's brother.
I claim I do this for research—
No, I am doing this for research, but the deepening attraction to Jackson is both a wonderful benefit and a horrible consequence.
I pull out my lab book and jot a few notes. Day, time, setting, mood, level of attraction to Jackson.
Will taking the pressure off make it easier to see him in three hours? Or will I want him more?
