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Rowan doesn’t say anything but looks at me.
“I was four years younger. That’s kind of gross.”
She waves me off. “Not in high school. Once you were in college and we’d go to his games. Rowan knows what I’m talking about.”
“Let’s talk about something else,” I say.
The waitress brings over my mimosa, and I take a large sip, wishing I hadn’t agreed to this brunch.
Even if the guys Conor played with were saying things about me, it doesn’t excuse how he’s acting toward Rowan and me. He hasn’t even taken the time to see us as a couple, to see how much we care for each other.
“What do you want to talk about then?” my mom asks.
Since the brunch is a buffet, we don’t have to order and can go up and get food whenever we want.
“How about you cheating on Dad? Twice.”
Her fake smile falters, and she looks at Rowan and back at me.
Rowan places his napkin on the table, sliding his chair back. “I’m going to be outside. I just remembered I have a phone call to make. It was nice seeing you, Mrs. Nilsen.”
“Oh, please call me Val.”
“Nice to see you, Val.” He leans over the table to give me a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be right at the bar,” he whispers in my ear.
I nod. I probably should’ve come by myself, but I would never have walked in here without the encouragement and support of Rowan.
“I really wish you’d keep our family affairs private,” my mom says once he’s out of earshot.
And there’s my real mom.
“Rowan is a part of my life.”
She rolls her eyes. “For now, but come on.”
I shake my head, not wanting to get into a fight about this. She doesn’t have the first clue about anything regarding Rowan and me.
“You want to say your piece, so say it.” I sit back in my chair, cross my legs, and set my hands in my lap.
She brings her mimosa to her lipsticked lips and lowers the glass after she takes a sip. “I understand you’re upset. Obviously the fact that you and Conor aren’t talking didn’t stop him from letting you in on our secret.”
“Aren’t secrets the problem? I didn’t know this family had so many of them.”
She twirls her champagne glass at the stem. “I don’t expect you to understand. You’re still in the beginning phase of love. Where you’re his entire world. But there will come a time when it feels as if you’re invisible to him. When you’re no longer his shiny new toy. When you have kids and he only sees you as a mother and not a woman. Your father worked all the time. Cases took him away from our family for months at a time. I threw myself into my work once you and Conor were old enough.” She glances toward the river at a tour boat going by with tourists staring at the skyscrapers, snapping pictures.
I watch a family of four getting their picture taken. The dad is secure in the back with his arms around his wife and his son, the little girl standing in front. The mom’s hand is on the daughter’s shoulder. Picture perfect. I had that once too, but now that image is gone, ripped away from me.
“Then you leave him. Or work it out. You don’t cheat on him. How many men were there?”
She exhales an annoyed breath. I take that to mean more than the two I know about. “For someone who kept her own secret, it’s a little unfair you can’t put yourself in my shoes.”
“You’re honestly comparing my lie to you cheating on Dad?”
“It’s the same thing. You were scared, so you kept a secret from him. Despite what you might think, I didn’t want to hurt your father. It’s not so easy to tell the man you once loved that you’re not happy. I didn’t want to blow up our life. You and Conor are my everything.”
I scoff and roll my eyes.
“You are. But I lost myself in being a mother and a wife. You guys left home, and I didn’t know who I was. I thought after you left, your dad and I would reconnect. That we’d find one another again, fall back in love. But while I tried to book vacations and date nights, your dad threw himself into his work. And I get it. It was the easy thing to do for him. The house was empty. There were no more practices to carpool to. No more footsteps running down the stairs. It was just silence.”
