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‘I am familiar with Leo,’ he replies, confused. ‘Are you not that into him then?’
‘I am. But almost too much. I just…I don’t feel like myself at the moment. The Maggie I am is…’ I spurt out searching for words.
‘Professional, nice to a fault, obsessive about her Post-it notes?’ Frank tries to add.
‘Ordered. All these feelings with Leo make me feel…’
‘Disordered?’ Frank says, trying to help. I laugh at him. ‘But isn’t that what liking someone feels like? Not that I’d know but I always imagined that it would feel like someone upending your life, shaking it about – like being in a snow globe,’ he tells me innocently.
I smile to see Frank lecturing me about love and feelings. ‘I think I am also worried about the what ifs, the potential for things to go wrong. He’s also a good friend that I would hate to lose. What if it didn’t work out? I’d lose you and Jasper too,’ I tell him.
‘We’d be like your kids caught in the crossfire – you’d have to split custody of us, every other weekend and alternate holidays…’ he jokes and I narrow my eyes at him. Mainly because of the other implications of losing any of them really. ‘Or maybe have some faith that you’re two good people and you are meant to be.’
Some emotion prickles away at me to hear Frank talk so warmly, so positively about love and its possibilities, and I start to realise what may have changed my friend. I smile at him and pull him to his feet so we can continue our trawl through this wondrously manic festive cave of gifts.
‘So, Norah…’ I say brightly as I link my arm into his. His eyes sparkle at the mention of her name. ‘Let’s walk through the possibilities here. You’re seeing her tonight?’
‘Yeah, my mum is cooking and she’s coming over.’
‘Your mum is cooking? Can I come?’
He flinches. ‘That might be weird…’
‘I’m joking. That was my stomach taking over,’ I laugh. ‘And you two went to maths camp?’
‘Yes, you’re not going to joke about that again, are you?’
I shake my head.
I walk past a few shops, gazing in at Christmas displays swathed in lights and holly when I suddenly look up at a shop in the centre of the walkway, smiling. ‘Does she like a bath?’
‘I’m really not sure. Are you thinking like a bath bomb? I could ask her…?’ he says, getting his phone out.
‘Yeah, don’t do that,’ I tell him, leading him around the displays of where we’re standing. Duck World. Just racks and shelves of lots of novelty rubber ducks.
Frank stands there and looks around bemused. ‘Isn’t this too…’
‘Fun?’ I say, picking up one that looks like a snowman, dancing him around Frank’s face. ‘Buy something that will make her laugh, that she can keep and think of when she looks at you.’
‘When she’s in the bath? Isn’t that a bit forward? But what if she doesn’t take baths?’ he asks me, looking at a punk duck with a mohawk.
‘Then she can put it on a shelf? Essentially, this is very you. You have a lot of those figurines on your desk and I think you’re fun.’
Frank stands there awkwardly. Even with his swish new haircut and new eyebrows, there is still work to be done in making him believe all these things about himself. I browse the racks until I stop and let out a joyful little whoop. It’s a marvellous feeling to know when you’ve found the perfect present for the perfect moment. I hold up the duck to Frank who smiles to see it. It’s Rubik Cubed patterned. It’s perfect. Until I see Frank holding up a duck too. It’s a duck in a crown, holding a red heart.
‘And who is that for?’ I ask him.
‘Well, if I’m taking a chance on finding love then I don’t want to be the only one. Get this for Leo?’ he says.
I can’t quite take my nerdy mate seriously. ‘Why the crown?’
‘It looks regal. It’s like you’re saying he’s the king of your heart.’
‘Frank…’
‘What?’
‘That’s really bloody soppy. Get that one behind you, the one that looks like a Storm Trooper…that’s much more like it…’
