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‘How old are you?’ she asks him.
‘Twenty-seven.’
I love the slightly judgemental nod she gives him.
‘What have you asked for then?’ he asks her.
‘A new bike, gel pens and a cuddly shark…’ she says confidently.
He nods, not even trying to debate with her. A sound suddenly echoes through the hall and down the stairs, a whimpering cry that gathers noise and Leo looks up at the clock in the kitchen, wrapped in tinsel.
‘Your little brother’s up early then?’ he tells Paige. ‘I thought I had an hour.’
‘He does that. He just wants titty milk,’ she says, turning to me. ‘Are you going to give him some?’ she says, her six-year-old hand patting down at my chest.
Leo laughs, raising his eyebrows at me.
‘No, hun. I can’t…’ I tell her.
‘But you have titties?’ she says.
‘Not all titties have milk,’ I say. I really should say another word for titties as it’s making Leo descend into raucous laughter. ‘It depends on whether you’ve had kids or not.’ I don’t know how much to delve into this. I don’t want to have to get my own nipples out to prove this or teach her too much about anatomywithout overstepping. She nods at me, staring at my chest almost wondering why I have boobs at all. You’ll work it out.
‘How about you and Paige go upstairs and check on…Harry, is it?’ Leo instructs us. We both nod. ‘And I will get a bottle ready for Harry.’
Paige takes my hand and leads me into the hallway as I gaze into the kitchen to see Leo putting the kettle on. I feel I should be learning what he’s doing.
‘Where did you meet him then?’ Paige asks me as we climb up the stairs, her hand still in mine, her red starred pyjama bottoms dragging on the carpet.
‘Work.’
‘With all your computer stuff?’ she asks.
‘Indeed.’
‘And what have you got him for Christmas?’ she asks me.
We go into Gemma’s bedroom, the door ajar to see Harry wriggling around in his Moses basket next to her bed. He’s kicked off the covers, limbs moving in all different directions. I immediately pick him up and hold him close to me, marvelling at how light he is compared to his sisters. Paige hands me a blanket and I put it over his back, trying to calm him down.
‘I did get him a gift bag with some socks and chocolates and a really funny joke book,’ I tell Paige.
‘Really?’ she says, her face scrunched up.
‘Is that not a good present? Should I get him a cuddly shark?’ I joke with her.
‘YES! Maybe you can get him the PS5?’ she suggests excitedly.
‘Or not. Those things are expensive and he’s far too old for that.’
‘Then give him something else. Daddy gives Mummy nice cards sometimes and he writes soppy things in them. And he makes her cups of tea and buys her Twix bars.’
I smile to know that Paige sees all those small gestures and understands what they all mean.
‘You do that for the people you love…’ she says, exiting the room so I don’t quite have the time to correct her. I arrange the blanket around Harry, his arms and legs curled into his body like a koala and hold him tight, watching Paige zoom down the stairs. Please don’t say anything to Leo about love. I’ve only kissed him once. Granted he’s seen more but what we have doesn’t even have a label yet. I don’t quite zoom as I have a baby in my arms but catch up with her in the kitchen to find Leo defrosting a pouch of milk in a measuring jug of hot water, a bottle beside the jug.
‘And this must be the little man,’ Leo says, stopping to smile at me holding the baby. He comes over to look at his face, his cheek pressed against the skin near my collar. Harry’s grey eyes spring open, trying to work out where he is, his mouth almost bouncing off my chest. ‘Well, Paige was right. Someone is hungry. He’s rooting.’
‘Excuse me?’ I blurt out.
