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‘Jasper, you have a boyfriend. That’s kinda cool, no? I’m excited. Is this new? What’s he like? How did you meet? Are you living together then? Since when?’
He stops for a moment to process my many questions, wondering if this was a good plan. He puts a hand in a downward motion, asking me to calm down. ‘Maggie…’
‘I’m sorry. I want…That’s exciting!’ I tell him.
‘Why?’
‘Because you’re with someone…in a relationship…and that’s always a beautiful thing.’
He nods his head slowly, trying to take in my words.
‘Well, all will be revealed, but I wanted to give you a heads-up because I’m kind of half out when it comes to my family.’
‘Is that an official term?’ I ask him, curiously, picturing his body half inside the closet, peeking out.
‘Put simply, I have some older relatives and my siblings especially who are a little…old-fashioned…and that’s stating it politely.’
I pull a face at Jasper to signal my disapproval. ‘Oh…that’s a shame.’
‘Not at all. The older I get, the more I realise I can’t change some people’s opinions on these things, much like I can’t change who I am, but I’m simply telling you this for your information. Just in case you’re talking to my grandmother and you decide to say “Oh yes, Jasper. Love him. Brilliant friend. So gay.”’
‘Noted.’ I smile but try to gauge how this makes him feel, to not be his authentic self around his family.
‘And when you do meet Miles. To some, he will just be a friend and it would be good of you to play along if you could.’
I nod. ‘Gotcha, you have my absolute discretion,’ I say, saluting him. ‘Though I am still excited to meet him,’ I say scrunching up my face.
‘Good Lord. Please try and be normal or something like that, yes? He’s looking forward to meeting you too,’ he says, smiling.
I have questions, so many bloody questions about his family, his love life, but I feel now is not the time to bombard him, especially as I keep grinning at him and he shakes his head at me. The train starts to pull away from London, the size of the buildings diminishing, and the light blue sky starting to pull into view. I am a town mouse, through and through, raised in the west of London so it’s always strange to see the landscape so flat, to spy open roads and lines of trees.
Jasper senses the fascination in my eye to be on a train, to be exploring somewhere new. ‘You don’t get out of London much, eh?’ he says, mildly amused.
‘Lived here all my life. I’ve been abroad, obviously, and seen places but I do stay close, you are right.’ I await some form of judgement.
‘And the only child…’
‘Yes. Working class roots. My mum is a nurse and my dad works on the London Underground.’
‘And where do they think you’re spending Christmas?’ he asks me.
That’s one thing about Jasper. Despite the shortish fuse and his general disdain for life, he is clever and he knows more about people than he lets on. He knows that I’ve chosen not to go on a cruise with my parents but I’ve also lied to them about it so they won’t feel bad about their choices. They go on a cruise everyyear, it’s their favourite thing to do, they save up for it, and I didn’t want them to opt out because of me. They’d spent a lot of their lives putting their energy, money and time into me so I could go to university and have a better life, there had to be point where they had some quality time together instead of three of us squeezing in a cabin together.
‘I told them I was hanging out with my friend, Gemma. I am godmother to her daughters.’
Jasper nods. ‘Not because you didn’t want to spend time with them though, right?’
‘No, they’re brilliant. But like I said, I didn’t want to be the youngest and therefore, saddest person on that ship.’
He smiles, the winter sun bouncing off his face, as the train truly starts to pick up speed. He reaches over for some pretzels and gets two luridly red tins out of his backpack.
‘Well, I’ve told you about my life story, you’ve given me snippets of yours. It’s time to drink…’ he tells me, tugging at the ring pulls of the tins.
‘Is this legal?’
‘It’s medicinal. Plus you need it more than me…’
‘Because I’m going to meet your family?’
