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‘Maggie, I will see you on Sunday, yes?’ Jasper asks me, alluding to my Christmas plans at his family home after the wedding. ‘I will see you at Waterloo, train leaves at 3.03.’
‘Am I waiting under the big clock?’ I ask him.
‘God no. Don’t be a cliché. I’ll meet you by Marks & Spencer so we can buy cans of gin and tonic and be absolute hooligans on the train.’
I smile and nod at him.
‘You won’t be a martyr, call us if we need to come back, yeah?’ Leo tells me as they all get set to leave.
‘Of course. Go. Love you,’ I say randomly.
Leo stops for a moment.
‘Love you too, boss,’ Jasper says, reaching over to my shoulders and kissing the top of my head, and I breathe a sigh of relief. Thank you for that save, Jasper. With that they all leave, the banter still echoing down the hallway as they go.
Just two more hours, I guess. I reckon Shelly had the right idea; maybe it’s a good idea to chill down here, eat some of my Christmas chocolate and watch some Netflix to fill the time. Is it sad that I’m glad the computers will have some time to shut down and rest over the holidays, that I worry about them like they’re human? But then I see an incoming message that tells me I have a new email. I go to my inbox to access it. The message is from Jan in HR.
Hi Maggie,
Hope this email finds you well and ready for thefestive season.
Before you leave today, would you be able to have a quick meeting upstairs with me? It won’t take long. We also have doughnuts.
KR,
Jan
SEVEN
In IT, we probably see much more of this building than others as we traipse through departments, mainly putting up passive aggressive signs telling people to stop turning off the printers at the mains and to update their passwords. One thing that’s clear: all the other supervisors in this building have not had to invest their own time and money in making their departments look festive and seasonal. There’s a theme running from floor to floor of sleek golden trees, draped in tinsel and lights. Garlands festoon the coffee machines and water coolers, and in every kitchenette space, there are bouquets of candy canes. In the background, there’s a faint sound of Christmas elevator music played on panpipes. I can even smell cinnamon. How are they siphoning that scent in?
As I approach HR, there’s a different vibe to us in every way. Our desks downstairs are strewn with operating manuals, parts of computers and in Frank’s case, a whole set of Funko Pop! figurines of every member of theGuardians of the Galaxy. Here it’s a straighter vibe of family photos and useful things like desk calendars and working pens. That said, the majority of the desks here also look abandoned; there’s one intern in the cornerwith his headphones in who looks like he’s being left to pick up the work dregs, but that’s it. I look around and see that no one has turned off their monitors properly and someone has also put their computer to sleep. I now decree that they are now blacklisted in IT.
‘Maggie?’ Jan pokes her head out from her small office. She’s accessorised her charcoal trouser suit with a Santa hat and holly earrings. She looks me up and down. There’s always a more casual vibe in IT that allows for trainers because we have to move around the building, crawl under desks and haul heavy equipment around. I do wonder, though, if she thinks my LET IT SNOW! Christmas jumper relates to my hopes for the weather or a secret cocaine habit. I’m glad I took my antlers off before I came up here.
‘Jan. How are you? Nice earrings.’
She flicks them with her fingers. ‘Just a little something to get in the spirit,’ she tells me, still judging my outfit and how the Christmas spirit seems to have consumed me fully. ‘I’m good. I’m glad you’re still around actually, everyone else seems to have scarpered.’
I won’t tell her I let my department leave early as, unless she ventures down to the basement, she’ll never know. ‘Oh well, you know. I want to ensure everything is shut down properly before I leave.’
‘Any plans for Christmas?’ she asks me.
I’m not sure there’s an easy way to tell her about what I have planned for my Christmas week without it sounding overly complicated. I’ve been adopted by my department because I’m a sad Christmas orphan. ‘Oh, you know, spending time with family. You?’
‘Family and then off to New York. Can’t wait.’
I force a smile. Such is the difference in our supervisor wages. She leads me into her office, offering me a seat behind her desk. I know Jan is grown up as she has a plantin her office, a coaster set for her hot beverages and a framed print on the wall telling meBuild Your People and Your People Will Build Your Business.We have a poster of Keanu Reeves fromThe Matrix,sayingIt’s All Just a Glitch.
‘I didn’t see you at the Christmas party the other week?’ she says, taking a seat in her fancy ergonomic chair.
‘Oh, IT weren’t invited,’ I tell her plainly. ‘We did our own thing.’
‘Well, that is an oversight. How awful! Let me remedy that for next year,’ she replies, though I sense she doesn’t quite mean it. ‘You missed a great party. Such a wonderful lunch. I made a complete fool of myself in karaoke.’
I know this because I saw the videos, the social media posts, the photos that showed everyone looking Oscar-worthy and dolled up to the nines. There was a vodka luge, teeny tiny canapés and a snow machine. Do you know what I’d have to do to have a snow machine in IT? I’d have to cut up all the paper from the shredder and make it fly through the air with a vacuum cleaner.
‘So what did you guys get up to in IT?’
