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‘We had a jazz brunch…on a boat…’ I say, trying to give our Christmas outing a sense of grandeur beyond chips and dips and Jasper throwing up in a hedge.
‘Superb. Please make yourself comfortable while I get my documents up.’
I take an unusually upright stance, legs together and hands in my lap. HR can call you in for a number of reasons. Sometimes it’s to start an annual review. One time I got called in here to give a witness statement because they suspected someone in accounts was stealing loo rolls. Please let this be a meeting about loo rolls.
‘Will this take long?’ I ask tentatively.
She shakes her head and I look around the room. I guess the other difference between us is that she gets an office. It’sthe size of a decent stationery cupboard, but she gets privacy and a perceived sense of importance. I look around as she clicks on her computer, frowning. She’d be able to access all that information easier if she put it in a folder, but I don’t think now’s the time to offer that helpful suggestion.
‘So, I am so glad we could fit this meeting in before the break and sorry for the last-minute nature of it, but I thought the break would be a suitable time for you to digest the news.’
News? Is this good news or bad news? I might be relatively new to my supervisor role but it’s something I enjoy and think I’m pretty good at. I hand in all my paperwork on time, I’m rarely sick and take a very serious attitude towards health and safety. I also recently bought the tiniest of flats and now have a mortgage to pay. I’ve put gifts on a credit card.
Jan sees the panic in my eyes and laughs, a little callously. ‘Oh, don’t worry. We like you. You do an excellent job and we only receive good feedback from other departments. But you were at the meeting last week, yes? The one with all the fellow supervisors?’
I nod. There are ten supervisors in the building and when we meet, platters of sandwiches always appear and white teacups with matching saucers. I always wait until everyone has gone and steal the leftovers for the department. Jasper’s mood is greatly improved by egg and cress.
‘Well, what finance were talking about wasn’t a joke. With increased operational fees, we’ve really had to look at the budget and think about ways in which we can cut back.’
I sit there, very still, thinking about how this really affects me. I literally live in the basement of this building. Are they going to cut our heat? Leo might cope as he has Northern blood in his veins but Frank and Jasper won’t survive. I funded our Christmas do, I carried a Christmas tree on the Tube to decorate our office. I try not to let my frustrations show, though they’re simmering under the surface.
‘And this has meant we really need to consider some staff redundancies. Every department will be affected. In your case, we are asking you to think about letting go one member of your team.’
I knew the words were coming but I had hoped she was going to say something different. Anger is suddenly replaced by a whole range of emotions, but mostly sadness that this is what’s being presented to me, right before Christmas. A Christmas where I’ll be spending so much time with these men. It feels cruel, so very cruel.
‘Really?’
‘Needs must. I’m having to have difficult conversations with a lot of departments so please don’t take this personally.’
I don’t think there’s any other way I can take this. I sit there quietly trying to take it all in.
‘So, I have their personnel records here. The obvious choice is Leo Golding. He’s our most recent hire, classic last one in, first one out,’ she says, cutting straight to the point without even giving me time to fully comprehend what I’ve been asked to do.
I shake my head, panicked. Never Leo. I’m shocked at my own response, but maybe it’s not surprising given how much closer we seem to have grown in the last month. To have to do that would be completely gutting. Plus he dilutes the geek quota in the room. Hiring him was one of my first jobs and it showed me, at least, that I knew what I was doing. ‘Leo is my people person. And essentially the most qualified of the three of them. He’s got the most up-to-date certifications in information systems security, he’s been instrumental in helping us incorporate AI into how we operate,’ I say as decisively as I can.
She types notes on her keyboard and I arch my neck around to try and see what she’s doing.
‘Well, if not him then how about Francis San?’ she says scrolling down on her computer. ‘He’s been here the longest. I’ll be honest, there’s quite a bit missing here in terms of his CPD.He swerves us every time we try and talk to him about that. One could argue he’s stagnating in his role? Maybe he needs a different challenge?’
‘His name is Frank,’ I say curtly, annoyed by her detached business speak. She’s in HR, I get it, but none of this feels very human. ‘He has a masters in computer science, amongst the top 1 per cent of his graduating year, a genius at coding. He’s just very happy in his existing role, doesn’t really want for much more.’
She continues to type her notes. I can’t do that to Frank. This job is his life, he’d be completely lost. I’d have to send him out into the world again to meet people and he’d crumble.
‘Then it’s Jasper Westwood-Knights…That is a very posh name,’ she comments, almost a little too judgementally. She scrolls down on her computer. ‘I won’t lie. There are a few complaints here on his file. I have reports of him being combative, rude, a bit unfriendly. Is he the one they all call The Grinch?’
I don’t reply to that. ‘But those complaints were all sorted at the time, definitely when he was under my supervision. He does get frustrated at times but IT can be a thankless task. It’s basically us telling people to switch their computers on and off again,’ I try and joke, hoping I haven’t undermined the very nature of our roles. It is true though. I’d say that instruction makes up at least 90 per cent of my in-house work calls.
‘It says here he once told someone in accounts that she had ugly hair,’ she reads verbatim from the screen.
‘No, he didn’t. We were called to accounts as someone had disconnected a modem to plug in their hair straighteners and Jasper told her she needn’t have bothered,’ I say slowly.
‘Which you could argue is mildly offensive?’ Jan adds.
‘I think what Jasper was hinting at was that she didn’t need to straighten her hair at work, it looked fine as it was…Maybe?’ I say, gulping, trying to cover his tracks. ‘And I’d also argue she was trying to cover her own back for her own incompetence. I don’t think it’s appropriate to bring appliances to work that haven’t undergone the appropriate electrical checks.’ I try and argue my points but even I know I’m grabbing at straws when it comes to Jasper. He’s a grumpy bastard, but I think that adds charm. While we sometimes are far too polite, I quite like how direct he is with people.
I lean forward in my seat, fiercely defensive of my team and what all three of them offer to my department. ‘If you want to know why our server room is so organised then that’s all Jasper. I’d credit the efficiency of all our systems to him. Look at our output and how few incidents we have due to failed technologies and software.’
Jan hears a slight shake in my voice and for her moment her eyes soften, as if slightly surprised that I would know so much about the people in my department. I guess since coming into this job at a more elevated standing, and as a woman, I wanted to prove to myself that I could lead this team. I went into that sad basement with its inflatable sofa and I turned things around. I nurtured them, I looked after them. They’re my friends.
