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“Your mother told me you had to leave after your father died.”
“Aye. Mama had no way to earn an income.”
“I’m sorry about your father. I imagine that was hard.”
“It was my fault.” Thorne stares at me in silence. I close my eyes, willing the words to come out without tears. “I was working with himin the field near our home. It was something all the children did daily.” I take a deep breath, clearing my mind. “That morning, my father and I were working on a new field he wanted to plant for the next season. My brothers were on the opposite field, planting seeds.” I look over the railing, focusing on the sea below. “I began to convulse. I was tired and thirsty, which makes the spells worse. My father ran to help me. When he reached me, I was shaking so badly that he wasn’t able to hold me. He fell backward, hitting his head on one of the rocks waiting to be cleared.” I wipe tears from my eyes. “He died, and I couldn’t do anything but watch him bleed to death as I shook uncontrollably. It was my fault. I killed him.”
“Elsbeth, I’m so sorry. You have to know it wasn’t your fault. You had nothing to do with his falling. It was a horrible accident.”
“It was my fault. If he hadn’t tried to help me, he wouldn’t have fallen. I killed him.”
Thorne wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to his side. “I’m so sorry.” I don’t answer. Instead, I bury my head into his shoulder. The warmth of his touch is almost more than I can handle. I’ve never been this close to a man, for that matter, never wanted to. Being this close to Thorne, I want more. Several minutes of silence pass before he pulls away, allowing the cold air to seep where we were once connected. “You need to eat.”
My stomach growls on command. “I usually can’t hold anything down for a while when this happens.”
“How about soup? I can ask the cook to make some fresh soup.”
“I could use a bath. I feel gross.”
Thorne smiles. “I can make that happen.” He turns, pulling me gently behind his back into his quarters. He moves quickly to a long box against the wall, lifting the top off. I see the glimmer of a metal tub inside. “I’ll have one of the women come to help you.”
“Seriously? I can use your bathtub?”
“Aye.” He smiles wide with my excitement. He guides me to the tub, pulling it from the cabinet. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll go find the young woman for the water and see about that soup.”
“Thank you.” My words feel inadequate.
“You’re welcome, Elsbeth.” His eyes linger on mine for longer than necessary. “Excuse me,” he whispers before leaving me alone in the lavish room. I don’t know how to wait and feel awkward trying to figure it out. Thankfully, I don’t wait long before the young girl I recognize from fleeing our stateroom enters the quarters.
“Hello,” she says with a wide smile.
“Hello,” I answer.
“Captain Rex asked me to bring you hot water for a bath.”
“Thank you,” I answer, still not sure what to say.
“My name is Cora. What’s yours?”
“Elsbeth. How old are you?”
“Seventeen.”
“Are you alone on the ship?”
Cora laughs. “No, my father works for Captain Rex. I’m allowed to come with him.”
“You like being here?”
She shrugs. “I guess. Can I help you undress?”
“No.” I shake my head for extra emphasis. “I can manage. Can I help you with the water?”
“I’m going to heat it over the fire. It shouldn’t take long.”
She pulls a heavy pot from a spot I hadn’t even noticed and hangs it on a hook in the fireplace. I watch as she moves toward the tub, pulling a dressing screen from the wall and spreading it in front of the tub area. “This will give you some privacy.” She pulls a few items from the cabinet, setting them next to the tub. “Here is some lye.”
“Thank you, Cora.” I slip behind the screen and slowly pull my gross clothes away from my body. I smell like a sailor who’s been at sea for a year. Lowering into the tub, I wrap my arms around me, feeling exposed.
