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I nodded and bore down again, ready for my breathing baby to enter the world. It was pain and such hard work, but I didn’t complain because I knew what it felt like to push for a baby whose cry would never come.
They laid Dylan, a sweet screaming mess, on my chest. I looked at Dexter in wonder. We’d created something through the chaos of us. And he lived. He was perfect.
Dexter leaned down and kissed my lips and, for that moment, I pretended everything was perfect.
But that would be the last time I kissed Dexter Andrews.
Noa
“Poor thing,”Miranda murmured, her eyes on the television over the bar behind me.
I turned in my seat to see a pop star with her face free of emotion, walking toward a vehicle, ignoring the paparazzi. The latest gossip claimed she’d been dumped by her ex-fiancé. The restaurant is empty as we finish up with what Miranda called a business meeting. It was more like an extravagant dinner with a friend she could later write off as a business expense.
“I met her at that wedding I went to last week in New York. She was sweet. The media can be ruthless,” Miranda murmured.
I watched the woman, feeling a sort of kinship to her. We were both just trying to make it through the fucking day.
“If women who look likeherare being dumped—” I said, turning then smiling at the waitress who’d come to set my dessert in front of me.
“He wasn’t the one, then,” Miranda said. It was that simple to her.
And I wondered when she’d decidedthe oneexisted. Probably the day she met her new husband, Quinton.
Miranda married for opportunity in her first marriage. I couldn’t fault her for it. She loved him, but she hadn’t ended up a successful business owner and very rich widow coincidentally. No one had predicted her first husband’s death, and she mourned him.
But now? This relationship was for love. She’d spent her time after her late husband’s death filling her need for lust. But this time, it was her need for trusted companionship and love that had caused her to settle down.
“So, how’s Dex?” She sipped her white wine and I fiddled with my spoon.
“Good. He has Dylan tonight.” Ever since Phoebe’s birthday, he started taking Dylan on some weeknights. I knew he had work in the morning, but he’d just brush it off as if there was nothing else he’d rather do with his time.
She smiled. “And Theo?”
“Good. He’s very good to me and Dylan.”
She set down her glass and began turning it with her fingertips, her hands flat against the tabletop.
I watched and wondered what had her fidgeting. The large diamond on her wedding ring glimmered under the muted restaurant lights.
Suddenly she stopped, and my eyes went to hers.
“Noa,” she started, and her tone made me pause.
I shook my head. “No.”
“Listen to me,” she snapped. “I don’t preach often but when I decide to, it’s usually for your own good. Trust my wrinkles, darling. Although a large percentage of them are from dealing with my clients, some of them came from laughter. And all of them came with a dose of wisdom.”
I scooped up some of the crème brûlée and didn’t look at her as I ate, waiting for her to get on with it.
“You know, I used to give you a hard time about Dex. I’m sure he’s not a huge fan of mine. At the time, I thought I was protecting you from him. But I see now, the only thing you need protecting from is yourself.”
I dropped my spoon and frowned at her. “That’s not true.”
“Listen to the wrinkles,” she said, raising her voice, and her fingers to her forehead where skin was bunching in frustration. “Listen to what I’m telling you because I don’t like repeating myself.”
I met her eyes with a wariness that made me feel physically tired. That flutter low in my belly was coming up. Those butterflies that arose whenever I talked about Dexter or talked to him, they stretched and joined in our conversation. Miranda didn’t know what she was doing to me, bringing him up. Thinking of him this way—as the boy I fell in love with and then the man I fell deep into lust with—wasn’t good for me. It unsettled me, and Dylan couldn’t suffer for that.
“You don’t love Theo the way you love Dex. There’s no way you can stay with him just because you’re scared of the decisions you and Dex made,” Miranda stated.
