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Ralph looked afraid, and I heard Miranda whisper that I was a psycho. I giggled and he relaxed.
“Is it a boy or a girl?” he asked.
“She’s superstitious. It’s a surprise,” Miranda announced with a sweet smile.
She wasn’t being sweet at all. It annoyed her to no end that I wasn’t preparing for this baby. In her mind, it was like the baby wasn’t even coming, like I didn’t love it or even want it. If only she understood. Although she’d been there with Anna, she hadn’t experienced it herself. It wasn’t something that could be easily explained.
Ralph nodded and I let his hand drop. “I know you two have your issues, but you’d be welcome there, Noa. Please try to make it.” He took out his card and handed it to me. “Let me know if you need anything at all.” He hugged me before leaving.
It felt wrong to shrug it off. He’d traveled all the way here.
But seeing Dexter wasn’t what was best for me.
Was it best for the baby?
I wasn’t so sure. Having parents who couldn’t stand the sight of each other…I’d lived that life. My baby wouldn’t.
“Let’s go on and pack you a bag,” Miranda said as soon as the door shut behind Ralph.
It had to be the hormones; I didn’t hate her this much when I wasn’t pregnant. “No.”
She shifted in her seat, preparing to argue with me—only I was too drained to argue with her. “You’re going to take your time and think about it and finally decide to go. Why prolong the inevitable? I know you. And I’ve decided I’ll come along. I’ll be your caretaker,” she said with a sincere smile. “I’ll even call your hot doctor and get permission.”
“I can wipe my own ass, thanks,” I grumbled.
She laughed, and I couldn’t help but chuckle as well. She was right; I needed to be around people again. I was turning into a monster.
“We need to get you out of the house, you ornery old lady.”
I laughed even harder. “Fine. Pack our shit, caretaker.”
* * *
The next morning,after receiving the go-ahead from my doctor, Miranda had us sitting posh in first-class.
“You do realize that the best hotel there is just shy of a two-star, right?” I looked at her face, ready for the pucker of distaste.
She simply nodded. “I made reservations at a lovely bed and breakfast. They have Wi-Fi. I’m not afraid of living like the other half.”
I sat back and placed my sleep mask over my face. “That isn’t evencloseto how the other half lives,” I said with a snort. I pretended to be unaffected as I sat there next to a truly unaffected woman. It was easier with my eyes covered. Miranda couldn’t see the anxiety written on my face.
I turned in my seat and fell asleep before the plane even took off.
I woke up at the tail-end of the flight and saw that Miranda had the latest issue ofHarper’s Bazaaropen.
“Oh, good. You’re awake.” She faced me and tossed her magazine aside. “Have you thought of any baby names? I have some suggestions, but I’ll save those for when you ask me for my opinion.”
There was that ingrained etiquette. But mixed with her mouthy ways, it wasn’t as smooth as it might’ve been.
“Tell me your suggestions, Miranda.” I shoved my sleep mask in my purse. I hadn’t started carrying a purse until I realized how hungry I might be while out and about. Not that I was ever out and about until I decided to go back home and mourn a woman who recognized me as the dead girl her dead son once loved.
“Well, this lady has a nice name. The one who died. Molly is pretty for a girl. And, obviously, Dexter for a boy.” She sipped her coffee and I eyed it with envy. She held out the cup and I glared at her. She knew I wouldn’t take it; it wasn’t good for my nugget.
“I can’t call the baby Dexter if it’s a boy,” I told her. “I would never be able to yell at him. I’d probably cry every time I said his name. Besides, Dexter doesn’t even know about the baby. That’d be a little strange.”
Miranda opened her mouth to speak, but thankfully, the light to fasten our seatbelts came on and a stewardess approached, telling us to lift our trays as she took Miranda’s coffee.
“Welcome to hell,” I said under my breath.
