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Maybe it was because she didn’t seem to have genuine worry for me. The more I repeated myself, assuring her that we could still be friends, the more aggressive her argument became.
I didn’t know why. Who would want to be with someone who couldn’t remember them? And the way she reacted, it wasn’t like she loved me. She wasn’t even crying.
“I know you lost your memory. But we can work through that. You can remember. And…and if you don’t, we’ll start over…make new memories. Please, Dex, baby, don’t end us before we even have a chance to begin,” she all but whined, and I wanted to laugh when she stomped her foot.
“Becca, I have too much going on right now to make you a priority. I don’t even know you. Why waste our time when I know you aren’t it for me?” In truth, I did. After working with the physical therapist, I knew I’d have to put a lot of time and focus into healing and walking unassisted again.
I realized how harsh the words sounded a few secondsafterI’d already said them.
But, of course, she picked up how shitty they were the moment they spewed from my lips.
“Really? I’m notit? You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said with a scoff.
I shrugged. “I’m not wasting my time anymore. I don’t remember how De—Iused to do things, but this is how I’m doing them now.”
Changes wouldn’t come easily, but part of me hoped this would be amicable. The more we talked, though, the less it seemed like any parting with her would be drama-free.
“Whatever, Dex. Don’t come crawling back to me when you remember everything. I was good to you. I wasted so much time—”
“Oh, come on, Becca.” Ralph pushed through the door, his cheeks ruddy. “You wasted so much time trying to hook up with my teammates while Dex was lying in a hospital bed.” He dropped his backpack on the floor and slumped into the chair, his arms dangling over the armrests as he regarded her with bored eyes.
“I never liked you,” she told him.
EvenIknew Ralph didn’t give a shit.
“I’m so glad you were able to get that off your chest,” he said, slow clapping from his place in the chair.
It only took two claps for her to walk out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
“It’s a shame,” he started, looking at me now. “I wish she’d gotten loud enough for you to call security.” He got up, pulled his chair from against the wall, and dragged it next to my bed before sitting in it again with an exhale.
“Seems like I’m not the only asshole here,” I said with a laugh, removing the hair band from my hair and running my hands through the strands before pulling it back into a small bun. I could only hope that I’d gotten it all.
“No. An asshole would tell you I can find plenty of girls who’d be willing to help nurse you back to health right in front of her,” he responded with a grin.
My chuckle was short. “I don’t know if I was into that before, but I definitely don’t think I am now.”
He sat back and waved his hand with a smirk. “Why not? You’ve got these girls drooling over that little man bun and the pubes on your chin. Artsy-looking little fuck.”
At his words, I scratched my chin smugly.
He snorted then said, “You look like you should be reading fucking poetry, not off being a computer whiz.”
I blanched, my hand falling to my side. “A computer whiz? I don’t know anything about computers.”
“Things change,” he said as he pulled his phone from his pocket and started typing something into it. “At least you won’t be going to Massachusetts anymore.”
I groaned. “What’s in Massachusetts?”
“You were looking into going to some computer school there, waiting on an early acceptance.” He looked up at me before glancing back at the cell phone in his hands. “You look like you’re about to lose your shit, Dex.”
“I have no idea what the hell I’m doing! I can’t just pick up Dexter’s life and move on like it’s nothing.” I hadn’t realized what picking up a high school senior’s life would entail. I was still figuring out thewho’s whoof his life. I hadn’t even tapped into thewhy’sandhow’s.
“It’s notDexter’s life,man. It’s yours. And you can do whatever the hell you want.” Ralph’s volume was increasing, his tone confused but annoyed.
I sat up, ignoring the radiating pain in my ribs at my sudden movement. “I don’t know what kind of carefree bullshit you’re trying to feed me, but I can’t do that. I can’t be an eighteen-year-old high school student with nothing going for me except a bum knee and the idea that there’s a girl out there who wasmadefor me.”
I tried to hop off the bed on my good leg only for it to buckle beneath my weight. I scrunched my face against the pain as I went crashing to the floor. No matter how many times I practiced taking steps with my physical therapist, I wasn’t strong enough yet to do it on my own.
