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Fuck, forget about the FWS. If we capture it, fly it somewhere remote, we can sell it to the highest bidder. Hell, numerous bidders. First to shoot it gets to keep it.
As long as it’s dead, one way or the other. It’s fucking offensive.
Maybe that was the way forward. It wouldn’t take long to Google painless ways to die. She didn’t want to suffer anymore—wasn’t she in enough pain now?
The first snows hadn’t arrived yet, but the temperatures were already plummeting by the time it got dark. All she needed to do was wander out into the night, into the forest beyond the club boundaries, and nature would do the rest for her.
Hypothermia wasn’t the worst way to go. Once the cold passed the point of biting, she could just curl up somewhere like an animal and let sleep take her far, far away where she didn’t offend anyone, didn’t fail and disappoint people.
If the doctor’s office—the real one—stocked sleeping pills, she could hurry the process along. Fall into that bottomless pit before the cold stole her digits and turned her skin black.
Liam would grieve, understandably. He’d tried so hard to show her what she was, but she wasn’t what he saw. God, in his eyes, she was beautiful and strong. A woman who took everything life threw at her and just kept going, channeling her emotions into her stuffies, focusing on the positives in the world.
In reality, she was weak. She kept going because she’d never been tired enough to consider another avenue. Even when she’d been at Wyatt’s mercy, with Liam nowhere in the picture, she hadn’t reached this level of low.
There was no reason to fight anymore. She couldn’t help but question the feelings of those around her—did Liam really love her? Were her friends truly her friends? The people who smiled at her and spoke to her like a human being, did they do that to humor her?
She was resigned to not being a mother. That fact was just another crack in an already crumbling heart. Her body was too set on destroying itself to allow anything to grow in the barrenness.
Another disappointment, another failure.
Another black mark against the reasons to live.
Hands clasped hers, pulling them away from her face. A fingertip under her chin lifted her head until she stared blankly into solid gray eyes.
Liam.
Her heart tried to leap the way it always did whenever she saw him, whether it was two minutes since the last time or two hours. It tried so hard, and failed.
“Come on, babygirl. We need to go.”
Yes, she did. It was time.
Time to do the right thing and eradicate the burden she created in his life.
They could both be free.
Her tongue felt fat and thick in her mouth as she formed words. “Why don’t you and Mack go ahead? I’d like some time alone.”
His gaze searched her face, her eyes, and sorrow filled it. Shaking his head, he murmured, “You’re not going to be alone for a while, Sierra. Do you think I don’t know when you’re checking out on me? It’s not the first time, minx, or have you forgotten?”
She frowned. Her brain felt numb and disconnected, already separating mind and body in preparation. “Forgotten what?”
“Well, that answers that, doesn’t it?” He sighed and cupped her cheek. “Two months after Wyatt died, you did exactly this. Shut down, shut me out. I found you in bed with a treasure trove of pills piled in a heap in your lap. There was enough to kill you if you’d taken them.”
The frown deepened. She had no recollection of that, not even a flicker of memory. Surely she’d remember that?
“It took Connie all night to get you to talk. You cried until you were sick, and even then you couldn’t stop. She sedated you, kept you under for almost a week so your body and mind could heal.” He stroked her cheekbone. “Connie’s not here, babygirl. There’s no sedation to knock you out and let you rest. So we’re going to root out the issue another way.”
Sierra shook her head. “You don’t understand.”
“I know three fuckwits who know nothing about you chose to make you their source of entertainment. I know they said horrible, demoralizing, cruelly barbed things.” When her gaze fell to her lap, he tsked softly and tap-tap-tapped her cheek until she raised it again. “What I understand, Sierra, is how fucking deep they cut. I understand they opened up old wounds, old doubts, and brought a whole ton of repressed shit to the surface. I’ve loved you long enough to know that when the pain is severe enough, you’ll hide it from me until hiding doesn’t work.”
“I don’t want to hurt like this anymore.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore, Liam.”
“Fuck, Sierra, the only way you can hurt me is if you steal yourself away from me. Open your eyes, minx. Now.”
She obeyed because, well, he was Liam. Her lover, her Master, her Daddy until the end.
