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He loved his life, what it had become, since Jenna fell into it. He had purpose now that he hadn’t had before. Helping people was in his nature, it was why he’d become a doctor, but with Jenna in his life, there was a satisfaction to his work. She’d changedeverything.
Coffee cup in hand, bread in the toaster for their breakfast, and Jenna happily tucking into her candy-topped cereal, Connor answered the knock at the door with a grin as his girl chattered away to the dog.
His world collapsed with one look at Special Agent Hadley’s face.
“Morning, Connor. May I come in?”
Connor closed his eyes briefly, pushed away the hopeless feeling that he’d lost Jenna. He heard her giggle, call his name, and he opened his eyes again, meeting the sharp blue gaze of the agent who was slowly becoming a friend. “I’ll be there in a minute, baby.”
“Might as well let me in, Connor. I can stand here all day if I have to, but I’d prefer to get this over with.” Hadley shifted a stack of files under his arm, tucking them in close to his side. “Not to mention it’s fucking freezing out here.”
“Gonna snow,” Connor murmured, wondering how badly Hadley’s news would hit Jenna. He’d known this was coming all along, but somehow, he’d convinced himself it wouldn’t. How foolish of him. “Come in.”
Hadley stepped inside, shrugged off his jacket, swapping the files from hand to hand. He’d been in the house often enough now he simply hung his jacket on the peg beside the door. But instead of wandering into the kitchen to see Jenna, he proved he was really on duty. “Is there somewhere we can talk? Jenna included.”
Sickness curled in his gut. “Living room. You want anything?”
Hadley set his free hand on Connor’s shoulder. “This is a good thing, buddy. It’s going to be hard, but it’s necessary.” Stepping toward the living room, he called back, “That coffee smells good, if you wouldn’t mind.”
Dazed, Connor walked into the kitchen. Jenna looked up with a guilty expression, quickly whipping her spoon out of Luna’s mouth, then beamed at him. The picture of innocence, while Luna wore a smug expression and licked her lips free of milk.
“Did I hear Hadley’s voice?” Jenna asked quietly, evidently picking up on his somber mood—something he hadn’t left the kitchen with moments before.
He topped off his coffee, poured a second cup for the agent. “Yeah, baby. Hadley’s here.” Understanding she still wasn’t entirely comfortable with the agent, he glanced at her over his shoulder, noted the way she now stared at the empty cereal bowl. It didn’t escape him how she gripped the table with one hand, the spoon with the other, as though grounding herself. “Unexpected visitors are part of a normal social life, Jenna. Folks drop in on a whim, come for a cup of coffee,” he demonstrated by lifting a mug, “and hang around for a chat.”
“He’s not here for a chat.”
Oh, she knew, he thought. She knew exactly why Hadley was here, and she was as scared as Connor about what the outcome might be. They hadn’t really talked of what would happen when this day came, and Connor kicked himself for putting it off. They both floundered now, and he wasn’t sure he could keep them both afloat. “No, he’s not. But he’s in charge of the investigation, Jenna. He’s only trying to help, doing his job. Least we can do is listen.”
“No.”
“Jenna, baby, he’s not taking you away from me.”
“I said no!” She shouted it, shoving away from the table with a screech of chair legs on tile. The noise shot Luna to her feet, hackles up and guard mode on high. “No!”
Connor abandoned the mugs and whirled as she made a dash for the door. His arm looped around her waist, held her fast, but he wasn’t prepared for his girl to turn feral in his arms.
Jenna kicked and scratched, teeth snapping as effectively as Luna’s. He snapped out an order for the dog to sit, another one for Jenna, but she was riding high on panic and stubbornness. Her heels battered his shins, her nails raked his forearms.
Connor managed to spin her, press her face to his chest. Her tiny fists hammered his torso as muffledno’s turned into a sobbing chant. “Stop it, Jenna. Stop itright now.”
She howled, breaking his heart.
Her weight went dead in his arms and he scrambled to keep her upright, adjusting her body so she didn’t just slide to the floor. “This won’t change anything, baby. Fighting me won’t change the future.”
“I don’t want to know. That’s not who I am anymore.”
“Maybe not, but she’s who you used to be, Jenna. She’s still part of you, even if you don’t remember her.” Connor hitched her up so she could lay her head on his shoulder like a child, certain little Jenna would be making an appearance anytime soon. “It might be you have people who miss you. Parents, family, friends. People who’ve grieved for you for years without knowing what happened to you. They had no body for closure, baby. They’ve been as lost as you have.”
“I forgot them,” she said miserably. “I forgot them to protect myself.”
“No,” he responded firmly, adding a dominant edge to his tone. “No, you didn’t. You protected them by locking them away, Jenna. Kept them safe. They’ll come back to you. Maybe this is the start to finding them again.”
“Maybe they won’t like who I am now.”
He grunted. “If they don’t, they’re idiots. Do you want to know what I think, baby?”
She pushed back enough to see his eyes, and he tightened his arms to keep her secure. Misery dulled the green of hers, and he saw the child pushing at the boundary line. Holding on by a thread. “I guess.”
