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Rebecca’s expression softened, and she lifted a hand to brush a stray strand of hair away from Quinn’s face. The gesture was tender, intimate, and it sent a wave of longing through Quinn. “Please don’t think that I don’t want to.” She leaned in and kissed her softly. “And that’s why I’m going to go. If I stay, I know that I can’t trust myself.”
A wave of disappointment washed over Quinn, a dull ache settling in her chest. Rebecca’s words, though gentle, felt like a rejection. She understood the reasoning, the caution behind them, but it didn’t make the sting any less potent. She wanted Rebecca, but she was right. It was a lot, this sudden shift in her world, this unexpected pull towards a woman she’d known her whole life, but never truly seen until now.
Quinn nodded slowly, her throat tight. The air, thick with unspoken desire just moments before, now felt heavy, charged with a different kind of tension, full of restraint, of longing.
“Let me walk you out,” Quinn offered, her voice regaining a semblance of its usual strength. She needed to move, to break the spell that had woven itself around them.
Quinn followed Rebecca to the front door, the silence between them punctuated only by the steady patter of rain against the windows. She grabbed an umbrella and handed it to Rebecca, their fingers brushing for a fleeting moment. The contact, brief as it was, sent a jolt of electricity through her.
Rebecca hesitated, her hand hovering over the umbrella’s handle. Her eyes met Quinn’s, a silent conversation passing between them. Rebecca leaned in, her hand coming up to cup Quinn’s cheek. The touch was feather-light, yet it sent a wave of warmth through Quinn, chasing away the chill of the rain, the chill of disappointment.
Their lips met in a soft, lingering kiss. It was different from the kisses they had shared moments before. Less urgent, less demanding, but no less potent. It was a goodbye, a promise, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken feelings that swirled between them.
“Goodnight, Quinn,” Rebecca whispered against her lips, her breath warm on Quinn’s skin.
“Goodnight, Rebecca,” Quinn replied, her voice barely a whisper, and she watched as Rebecca stepped out into the rain and into the darkness.
14
Rebecca picked up her taco and took a bite. Across the table, Sarah was telling her about her school’s newest teacher and how well she’s fitting in. Rebecca nodded along, forcing a smile.
She couldn’t stop thinking about last night, about the softness of Quinn’s lips against hers, the electricity that had sparked between them. It had taken every ounce of her self-control to walk away, to do the right thing. But now, sitting across from Sarah, the guilt was really weighing on her.
Sarah had no idea that her own daughter was grappling with her sexuality, let alone that Rebecca had crossed a line she could never uncross. The kiss played on a loop in Rebecca’s mind, taunting her almost.
Later when the waiter was clearing the table, Sarah shifted the topic of conversation.
“I know it’s early to be talking about Thanksgiving, but I wanted to make sure you knew you’re more than welcome at our place this year.”
Rebecca nearly choked on her beer. Heat flooded her face. Thanksgiving at Sarah’s, with Quinn? After what had happened last night? She coughed, grabbing her water instead of her beer.
“You okay?” Sarah asked, concern etched on her face.
Rebecca nodded, still struggling to breathe. “Just swallowed wrong.” She coughed and took a long drink, trying to compose herself.
Sarah’s offer was incredibly kind, especially after Rebecca’s mother had passed away last January. Thanksgiving had always been at her mom’s.
“It’s just…you know,” Rebecca stammered, buying herself time. How could she possibly explain the sudden tightness in her chest, the way her stomach was twisting itself into knots?
Sarah’s smile softened. “I know it’s not the same as your mom’s, but we’d love to have you. It’ll be different this year, with Quinn home for so long.”
Different. That was an understatement. Rebecca’s mind conjured the image of Quinn across the Thanksgiving table, both of them trying to act normal when their eyes would so easily give them away.
“I… I’d love to,” Rebecca managed. She forced a smile, hoping it reached her eyes. There was no way she could say no. Not to Sarah. Not without raising suspicion.
Sarah beamed. “Great! That’s settled then.”
The rest of evening passed in a blur. Guilt twisted in her gut, a heavy knot that tightened with every kind word Sarah spoke, every laugh they shared. Their friendship felt tainted now.
She watched Sarah across the table, the warm glow of the restaurant’s string lights reflecting in her friend’s eyes. Sarah, so open and trusting, so oblivious to what was going on with her daughter. How could Rebecca have betrayed that trust? How could she have kissed Quinn like that?
The image of Quinn’s face, flushed with desire, flashed in Rebecca’s mind. The memory of their kisses, the way their lips had fit so perfectly together.
It was wrong, so incredibly wrong.
She had to talk to Quinn. She had to make her understand the gravity of their situation, the potential consequences of their actions. This couldn’t continue. It was unfair to Sarah, to Quinn, and to Rebecca herself.
This couldn’t be the start of something. Rebecca knew she had to end it, before things went too far.
