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Somewhere in the back of my mind, I register Sydney's gasp of horror. But I'm too far gone, too consumed by rage to stop. All I can see is red. All I can feel is the primal need to eliminate this threat to my family.
Schwartz's face is a bloody mess, but still he tries to speak. "Petrov, please... I can explain..."
His words only fuel my anger. I throw him to the ground, my boot connecting with his ribs. Once, twice, three times. I hear the sickening crack of bones breaking, but it's not enough. It will never be enough.
"Avros, stop!" Sydney's desperate cry finally penetrates the fog of my fury. "You'll kill him!"
I freeze, my fist raised for another blow. Schwartz lies motionless at my feet, his chest barely rising with shallow breaths. Blood pools on the cheap hotel carpet, staining it a deep crimson.
Slowly, I turn to face Sydney. She's pressed against the far wall, her eyes wide with terror. Not of Schwartz, I realize with a sinking feeling. Of me.
"Krasotka," I say softly, taking a step towards her. She flinches, and the motion cuts me deeper than any knife. "Sydney, please. Let me explain."
"Explain what?" she whispers, her voice trembling. "How you just beat a man half to death? How you... you enjoyed it?"
I close my eyes, shame and self-loathing washing over me. This is what I never wanted her to see. The darkness that lives inside me, the violence I'm capable of.
"I did it for you," I say, knowing how weak the excuse sounds even as the words leave my mouth. "For us. He was threatening you, trying to turn you against me. I couldn't let that stand."
Sydney shakes her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. "This isn't how normal people handle things, Avros. This is... this is insane."
I take another step closer, relief flooding through me when she doesn't back away this time. "I know,myshka. I know it seems crazy to you. But this is my world. This is how I protect what's mine."
"I'm not yours," Sydney says, but there's no real conviction behind the words. "I don't belong to anyone."
I reach out, cupping her face in my hands. To my surprise and relief, she doesn't pull away. "You're wrong,krasotka. You've been mine since the moment I laid eyes on you. And now, carrying my child, you're more mine than ever."
I see the conflict in her eyes, the battle between her moral compass and the undeniable pull between us. I press my advantage, knowing I might not get another chance.
"I love you, Sydney," I confess, pouring every ounce of sincerity I possess into the words. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. You and this baby, you're my whole world now. I'll do anything to keep you safe, to give you the life you deserve."
Sydney's lower lip trembles, fresh tears spilling over. "But at what cost, Avros? Look at what you've done. This man could die. And for what? Because he threatened your ego?"
I shake my head, frustration building. How can I make her understand? "It's not about ego. It's about survival. In my world, any sign of weakness is exploited. Any chink in the armor becomes a target. I can't afford to let anyone think they can come after you, after our family, without consequences. Because this won’t be the last time something like this happens. They have to know that I’ll do anything, cross any line, to keep your safe. Or next time it won’t be money they offer you, just bullets, and a coffin six feet under. I can’t let that happen to you.”
Sydney's gaze drifts to Schwartz's prone form, and I see a flicker of understanding in her eyes. "What are we going to do?" she asks softly. "The police will find out about this, and then you’re really going to be in trouble. I might be, too."
"Leave that to me," I say, already pulling out my phone. "I'll take care of everything. But Sydney, I need to know. Are you with me? Will you stand by my side, no matter what comes next?"
She hesitates, and for a heart-stopping moment, I think I've lost her. But then she nods, squaring her shoulders. "I'm with you, Avros. God help me, but I am. I love you, and I want us to be a family. A real family."
Relief floods through me, so intense it's almost painful. I pull her into my arms, burying my face in her hair. "Thank you,myshka. I swear to you, I'll make this right. I'll be the man you deserve, the father our child needs."
As I hold her, I dial a familiar number. Richard, my lawyer, answers on the first ring. "We have a situation," I say without preamble. "I need you at the Downtown Hotel, room 412. Now."
I end the call, knowing Richard will handle the cleanup. He always does. But as I look down at Sydney, still trembling in my arms, I know the real work is just beginning.
Somehow, I have to find a way to bridge the gap between my world and hers. To be the man she needs me to be without losing the edge that's kept me alive all these years. It won't be easy, but for Sydney and our child, I’ll do anything. Be anyone. As long as I can convince her to stay with me.
"It's going to be okay," I whisper, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I promise you, everything will be okay."
But even as I say the words, I can't shake the nagging feeling that this is just the beginning of our troubles. That the real test of our love, of our family, is still to come.
21
Sydney
My heart races as Avros guides me out of the hotel, his large hand splayed protectively across my lower back. The warmth of his touch seeps through my thin blouse, a stark contrast to the chill that's settled in my bones after witnessing the violence in that room. The night air is cool against my flushed skin, carrying the scent of rain and distant car exhaust.
