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The shock of her confession hits me like a physical blow. Pregnant? My mind reels, trying to process this new information even as I struggle with the weight of my own revelation.
"You're... we're..." I can't seem to form a coherent thought, let alone a sentence.
Sydney nods, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I just found out. That's where I was—at the pharmacy, taking a test. Three tests, actually.” She laughs, the sound bitter and hollow. “I wanted to be sure.”
My hand moves of its own accord to her still-flat stomach. A baby. Our baby. Growing inside her right now. The surgeof emotions that washes over me is overwhelming—joy, fear, protectiveness, love. All warring with the guilt and shame of what I've just confessed, and the fear that she’ll never want anything to do with me again after this.
"Sydney," I breathe, cupping her face in my hands. "This changes everything. We can figure this out, together. We’re a family now. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right, to keep you both safe."
For a moment, I see a flicker of hope in her eyes. But then she pulls away, shaking her head.
"I can't," she says, her voice breaking. "I can't do this right now. I need... I need time to think. To process everything."
Before I can stop her, she's out the door, her footsteps echoing down the hallway. I hear the front door slam, and then... silence.
I sink to my knees, the weight of everything crashing down on me. Sydney is gone. Carrying my child. Knowing the truth about who I am, what I've done. How I feel for her.
I’m all alone.
And I've never felt more lost in my life.
19
Sydney
The hotel room door clicks shut behind me, and I lean against it, my legs trembling. The events of the past few hours replay in my mind like a horrible movie I can't shut off. Avros's confession. Lance's murder. The baby growing inside me.
I slide down to the floor, wrapping my arms around my knees as sobs wrack my body. How did everything go so wrong so quickly?
The room spins around me, cheap floral wallpaper and generic artwork blurring through my tears. It's nothing like the opulent luxury of Avros's mansion, but right now, that familiarity would be too painful. And I know that if I go back to my apartment, he’ll find me, so this is the only option I have to get away from a man like him.
Avros. My hand drifts to my still-flat stomach. The father of my child. The man I've fallen in love with. A murderer.
"What am I going to do?" I whisper to the empty room, to the tiny life inside me that can't possibly understand the turmoil surrounding it.
Part of me wants to run, to disappear and never look back. It might be for the best. But it’s hard to imagine pulling it off, not to mention I’m not sure that it’s what I want. Because despite everything, the lies, the danger, the unforgivable act he's committed, I still love him. God help me, but I do.
I drag myself off the floor and stumble to the bed, collapsing onto the stiff mattress. My mind races with possibilities, each one more impossible than the last.
Could I forgive Avros? Could we find a way to move past this, to build a life together? I close my eyes, remembering the tender way he looked at me when I told him about the baby. The awe in his voice, the love shining in his eyes.
But then Lance's face flashes in my mind. My sweet, funny cousin, gone forever because of Avros's order. How can I reconcile the man who looks at me with such adoration with the cold-blooded killer who could order an innocent man's death?
A fresh wave of tears overtakes me. I bury my face in the pillow, muffling my sobs. What kind of life could I offer this baby, torn between two impossible choices?
Once again, I picture a future with Avros, living in his world of wealth and danger. Our child growing up surrounded by bodyguards, never knowing true freedom. Always looking over their shoulder, waiting for the next threat. But loved fiercely, protected at all costs by a father who would burn the world down to keep them safe.
Then I imagine a different path. Running away, starting over somewhere new. Raising this baby on my own, struggling to make ends meet but free from the shadow of violence. Our child would be safe, but they'd never know their father. Never experience the depth of Avros's love, his unwavering loyalty to family.
Both options seem equally impossible, equally heartbreaking.
I don't know how long I lie there, lost in my grief and confusion. The room grows darker as the sun sets, shadows creeping across the walls. I should eat something, I know. Take care of myself for the baby's sake. But the thought of food turns my stomach.
Part of me hopes Avros will come looking for me. That he'll burst through that door, sweep me into his arms, and promise to make everything right. But another part dreads that very scenario. Because I don't know if I'm strong enough to resist him. If I could look into those dark eyes and walk away again.
Just as I'm considering forcing myself to order room service, a sharp knock at the door startles me from my misery.
My heart leaps into my throat. Has Avros found me already? I struggle to my feet, smoothing my hair and wiping at my tear-stained cheeks. I take a deep breath, steeling myself for whatever comes next.
