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I study her face, trying to read the emotions flickering across it. There's more to this, I'm sure of it. Has she found out about Lance after all? Is she working up the courage to confront me?
The irony of the situation isn't lost on me. Here we are, both clearly hiding something, both terrified of the other's reaction. If it wasn't so potentially devastating, I might laugh.
"Sydney," I say, gentling my voice. I take a step closer, relieved when she doesn't back away. "We need to talk. There's something I need to tell you. Something I should have told you a long time ago."
She looks up at me, her green eyes wide and vulnerable. "I... I have something to tell you too," she whispers.
My heart hammers against my ribs. This is it. The moment that could change everything between us. I take a deep breath, steeling myself for whatever comes next.
"Let's go to my study," I suggest, placing a hand on the small of her back to guide her. The familiar touch seems to steady us both.
Once in the study, I close the door behind us, sealing us off from the rest of the world. Sydney perches on the edge of the leathersofa, her hands twisting nervously in her lap. I resist the urge to pace, instead leaning against my desk, trying to project a calm I don't feel.
I’ve faced countless enemies. Been shot at dozens if not hundreds of times. And yet right here, right now, I’m more terrified than I’ve been in my life.
"Sydney," I begin, my voice rough with emotion. "What I'm about to tell you... it's not easy to say. And I understand if it changes how you feel about me. But I need you to know the truth. All of it."
She nods, her eyes never leaving mine. "Okay," she says softly. "I'm listening."
I take a deep breath, forcing the words past the lump in my throat. "It's about your cousin, Lance. His death... it wasn't a robbery gone wrong."
Sydney goes very still, her face paling. "What do you mean?" she whispers. “How do you know?”
"I ordered the hit," I confess, the words hanging heavy in the air between us. "I didn't know he was your cousin,krasotka. I swear I didn't. But he was a witness in Miron's case, and I... I did what I thought I had to do to protect my brother."
The silence that follows is deafening. I watch as emotions dance across Sydney's face. First there’s shock, then disbelief, then absolute horror. And then, finally, a deep, gut-wrenching pain that cuts me to my core.
"You..." she chokes out, tears welling in her eyes. "You had Lance killed?"
I nod, unable to form words past the tightness in my throat. I want to go to her, to take her in my arms and beg for forgiveness. But I know I have no right. Not after what I've done.
Sydney stands abruptly, swaying slightly on her feet. I reach out to steady her, but she flinches away from my touch. The rejection stings, even though I know I deserve it.
"I can't..." she gasps, wrapping her arms around herself as if trying to hold herself together. "I can't process this right now. I need to go."
She turns towards the door, but I can't let her leave. Not like this. Not without trying, not without telling her how I feel. How much I care for her, how deeply I love her.
"Sydney, wait," I plead, moving to block her path. "Please, let me explain. I know what I did was unforgivable, but you have to understand."
"Understand what?" she cries, anger flashing in her tear-filled eyes. "That you murdered my cousin? That you've been lying to me this whole time? Holding me, kissing me,fuckingme, knowing that his blood was on your hands?”
Her words are like daggers to my heart, but I push on. "I've done terrible things, Sydney. I won't deny that. But everything I've done, I've done to protect my family. To build a future for us."
"Us?" Sydney repeats, her voice breaking on the word. "How can there be an 'us' after this?"
I reach for her, desperate to make her understand. "Because I love you," I confess, the words torn from the depths of my dark, blood-splattered soul. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, Sydney. You've changed me, made me want to be abetter man. Please, give me a chance to prove it to you. Let me show you who I can be.”
For a moment, I see a flicker of something in her eyes—longing, hope, love. But then it's gone, replaced by a steely resolve that chills me to the bone.
"I can't do this," she says, her voice barely above a whisper. "I need to go. Now."
She pushes past me, heading for the door. But before she can reach it, she suddenly stumbles, her face going pale.
"Sydney?" I'm at her side in an instant, my arms going around her waist to support her. This time, she doesn't push me away. "What's wrong? Are you alright?"
She looks up at me, her eyes wide and scared. And then, in a voice so soft I almost miss it, she says two words that shatter my world all over again:
"I'm pregnant."
