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“Yup.” The steady ticking of the clock on the wall emerged from the silence, each tick a reminder of time’s passage.
“And you both won?” It felt as if the dark gauze of trauma was unwinding, revealing layer upon layer of senses to rediscover in this quiet environment.
“No. He teleported us out or something.” The subtle aroma of the wine and the faint lavender lingering in the air anchored me in the present. The softness of the couch beneath me, the gentle rustle of Addie’s movements, and the glow of the lamp created a cocoon of tranquility. After all that violence, my awareness became heightened,attuned to the smallest details. Sitting here in the softness and peace, I couldn’t quite believe what my senses were telling me.
“So who won?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. No one, I guess.” Every sound, every sensation was vivid and sharp—the clink of the wine glass as I set it down, the warmth spreading through me with each sip, the rhythmic ticking of the clock, my own steady heartbeat cultivating a loop of calm.
“What do you mean, no one?”
The room, once so familiar, now felt like a sanctuary, a place where I could begin to process the horror that had just unfolded. “We blew the place up and got out. No winner this year.”
“They are going to be pissed.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Are you hungry?”
I shrugged. “I should be, but no.”
She got up and snatched some bags of snacks, ripped open some pretzels on the way back and left them between us. “Won’t they come looking for you?” she asked as she crunched on them.
I stuck my hand in the back and snatched a couple up, throwing them in my mouth. I was surprised at the near euphoria of the salty crunch. “Nah. They don’t keep details except for the winner.”
“So what now? Ivan’s gone?”
“Yeah, I don’t know. Sleep for a week, I guess.”
She pressed the bag closer, urging me to have some more. “You deserve it, babe.”
She was always a great friend to me. I never felt like I deserved her, but she kept me alive all this time. No one else cared about me but Addie. We sat in silence, crunching on pretzels and drinking wine, and I let half-thoughts whizz by in my mind until it occurred to me that Ihad appointments with clients to honor. I couldn’t sleep for a week; I had rent to pay. “Fuck,” I whispered, sinking further into the couch.
She froze mid-bite, the pretzel hovering inches from her mouth, eyebrows arching in concern. “What?”
I set the glass down on the coffee table with a dull thud, my hand trembling. Leaning back, I let my head fall against the couch, my gaze fixed on the ceiling as the weight of reality pressed down on me. “I’ll have to take over the shop,” I murmured, the words tasting bitter on my tongue.
“No,” Addie’s voice was sharp, urgent. “You don’t ever have to go back there.”
I turned to her, managing a hollow smile that didn’t reach my eyes. “But I have Stacy’s piece to finish. And Brandon’s. And Lisa’s.” The names of my clients felt like anchors, tethering me to a life I thought I’d left behind.
“So call and cancel,” Addie insisted, leaning forward, her eyes pleading.
I reached for my glass again, draining the last of its contents in one swift motion. The alcohol burned so good, but it was no match for the memories seared in my mind. “I can’t.” My voice was rough with trauma and exhaustion. “We have rent to pay, food to buy.” My head was too packed with thoughts, memories, images and feelings. I had to get somewhere quiet to let them all play through so I could sleep. I really needed to sleep. But first… “I really need a shower.”
As I moved to stand, Addie’s hand shot out, gripping my arm with unexpected strength. “I’ll cover it.” Her voice was thick with emotion. “You deserve to rest.”
For a moment, I allowed myself to consider it.
To imagine walking away from it all.
But reality crashed back in, relentless as ever.
She’d go broke, and we’d both be screwed. I couldn’t do that to her.
“Thanks, but I think I’ll go in and take care of my clients. Maybe I’ll leave myself a couple weeks of vacation in the book, but it’s not like I can just stop working. If I can get ownership of the shop somehow, that would be okay.”
Addie’s eyes narrowed. “Would it? Or would you rather never go back?”
