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Yep. Oblivious. This was nothing to him. “The uh, bite issue. The part that doesn’t triple your gifts.”
“The lust.”
Lust. “That’s a… pretty specific word.” And damn dirty.
“Butextremelyaccurate,” he said, sliding his plate to the side.
Oh crap he was done? She wasn’t going to eat while he watched. “You know what, I’m not good at talking and eating,” she confessed, sliding her plate over as well then crossing her hands on the counter. “So, this lust,” she hurried, forcing her gaze to his because that’s what an unbothered helpful student did. “Can you describe it? Break it down to me clean. Second grade level.” Hold his stare, hold it, donotbreak eye contact.
She nearly gasped in relief when he crossed his arms on the counter and angled his head off to the right. “It starts as a spark. Deep inside.” He brought his gaze to hers and dear God she was trapped in it. “It’s sharp and electric, but quickly spreads through my veins like liquid fire. The moment I’m around a woman, that spark surges, transforming into a blaze. Every glance, every breath she takes, fuels the fire until it becomes a relentless inferno. My senses sharpen—the smell of her skin, the sound of her voice, the way she moves—everything intensifies, pushing the heat higher and higher. And this firestorm in my body doesn’t just burn, it demands release, building with every second until it feels like it’ll tear me apart from the inside. It forces me into a dark hole where I have to release it. But the reprieve is fleeting. Just long enough to catch my breath before thesmoldering begins again, waiting to ignite once more.”
She snapped her mouth shut realizing he was done. Her eyelids fluttered with the effort to pull herself out of the flames he’d dragged her through. “Wow,” she gasped, reaching for her juice, staring at the cup for several disturbed seconds. She realized it wasn’t just arousal flooding her body but… jealousy. He said all that about what he experienced around women so easily. Like he experienced none of that with her at all. “For one, you surely can’t be doing this sort of thing with every woman.”
“Doing? Did you not hear anything I just said?”
She needed air and a reason to get away from his sudden direct, hot stare. She downed her juice and brought her glass to the sink. Her hands shook as she turned on the water and rinsed her dish, needing some of that on her face. And body. She suddenly froze. Had he… released in the shower?
Visions of him jacking off caused her to drop the glass. “Shit.”
“Tell me, Lyric. Which woman should I be doing these things with?”
She shut the water off. “Obviously I don’t know that.” She ripped a paper towel from the roll and dried her hands. Still shaking. She glanced back at him on the stool, stealing a look at his magnificent body in those black flannel pants. His back was alsocovered in tattoos. “Is there a woman at the school you have any interest in at all that you would consider for…”
“Using her to appease my lust demon? Because that’s all I want to do. I don’t want to marry. I just want to feed this until I can get rid of it, even while knowing I’ll die trying to keep it.”
The weight of his dilemma gave her enough courage to return to her seat. “You just need to find somebody who understands what’s happening. But I’m afraid you won’t be able to use any woman in such a way. It’s not right.”
“I know that,” he admitted too easily. “And still, I want it.”
She got caught in his intense gaze, realizing what his nonchalance meant. It meant he might be experiencing those lust symptoms with her. Was he burning, wanting… things with her? “Are you… okay?”
Dumb question. He was clearly not okay. But he confirmed it with a slow shake of his head. It should’ve terrified her, but she felt more electrified at what was happening than scared. What she hoped was happening.
She took a couple of steadying breaths. “Do you… need me to leave?”
He stared so hard at her she couldn’t breathe. His gaze finally slid down to the counter. “No,” he finally said.
She’d never seen him in such a condition. The leader, trapped with nobody to turn to. “I want to help you, but… I don’t know how,” she confessed, breathless.
Another agonizing span of silence passed. “I just… have one question for you.”
Oh dear God. What question? “Okay.”
He slowly raised his gaze, and she fought to remain perfectly still. “What kind ofpleasuredid you needsomuch, that you ended your arrangement when you didn’t get it?”
Oh Jesus. Mouth bobbings began. “I can’t… I can’t say it.”
“Is it something a man would dotoyou?”
She swallowed and barely managed a nod.
“He does it with part of his body?”
Oh double Jesus he was going to narrow it down!
Just answer him. It was a sex class, practically. Academics.
Another nod.
