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“Will you remember the pact, little bird?”
“I will.” She whispers, leaning away from me. “I will remember it.”
“Good.” I say, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “I love you.”
She sniffs. “I - I love you.” She says, speaking softly, distracted, lost.
She must be heartbroken that she is being taken away from me. She must be as heartbroken as I am. But I will find her again. I made a promise to her, and I will keep it. She belongs with me. She always has and she always will.
I dip my hand into my pocket, remembering the gift I have for her.
I pull out a small plastic charm. A toy from a chocolate packet. It made me smile because it made me think of her. I push it into her palm and close her fingers around it. “Next time we meet, I will give you a diamond.” I say.
She looks down at her hand, at the little plastic bird. She smiles.
“Thank you, Tuomo.”
CHAPTER FOUR
Nerissa
Ifound my mother in a pool of her own blood, it is an image I don’t think I will ever forget. There are things you can’t erase from your mind, the horror of that sight is one of them.
Every time I close my eyes, I see it.
And every time it makes me cry, and the same surge of panic and pain pulse through me.
I remember falling to my knees at her side, rolling her over and seeing the blood smeared across her mouth, and her eyes - they were white, frosted over, lifeless and empty.
I screamed her name. I screamed until all I was doing was screaming.
People rushed in and pulled me away from her.
I fought to get back to her side, but they shoved me into another room and one of the other housekeepers made me shower.
I was shaking, my entire body convulsing, and I couldn’t make it stop.
They asked me questions I didn’t hear or understand. All I could see was my mother drowning in her own blood.
Finally, a doctor injected something into my arm and the entire world went black.
When I woke up the next morning though, my head thick and heavy, the first thing I remembered was my mother and I broke down again. The staff scolded me and said I should shut-up. I’d cause trouble making a scene.
I knew she was dead and that I would never see her again, my world fell apart. How I am supposed to carry on like this?
I don’t know how I am supposed to live with this pain inside me.
That day, and every day since then, I’ve cried. Lost, broken and in denial.
Every time I sleep, which is often because all I want to do is escape reality, I wake up and remember it all over again. I want to die too. I can’t think of anything or anyone else. I can barely breathe, never mind eating, drinking, or bathing.
I do want to die. I want to be with my mother.
I have lost the most special person in the world. The only person who was there for me. The only person who loved me.
When the lady who manages all the staff comes to talk to me late in the afternoon, I can’t focus.
“Nerissa, honey, I need you to listen.”
