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She knew she shouldn’t be shocked, but she was. She had never been around that. and there he went, talking about it like it wasn’t gruesome and an evil thing to do.
You love him, though. You know you do. You also know he’s going to keep you safe no matter what.
Margery glared at Jonesy. “You aren’t helping. He’s a bad person. I should be running for the hills. The way he talks about things like it’s normal when it’s not. The fact that he can kill. Who knows what else he will do? And he stalked me for a long time, played mind games.”
She turned away from Jonesy and ran her hands through her hair. She knew Jonesy couldn’t actually respond to her, but she liked to believe he could. Especially when she didn’t have anybody else to talk to. Did it make her insane? Probably. But she had done it since she was a kid.
“I just want somebody to make the decision for me. I don’t want to think about it anymore. I’m tired of making the decisions. But I know no one else can make them for me!” she yelled in frustration.
She looked back at Jonesy and waited for him to say something. But he never did.
“So, you aren’t going to talk to me now. You’ve said all that you want to say.” Her hands flew in theair and then slapped her thighs. “Thank you so much for nothing. I really appreciate you trying to help me in a situation when I desperately needed it.”
She sighed and closed her eyes for a couple of seconds.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that to you, not when you have helped me in several situations. I’m just a little frustrated, and I don’t know what to do.”
Tears filled her eyes. She needed to calm down and clear her head. Maybe she should take a shower. It always seemed to help her before she started to get too overwhelmed. A nice, hot shower.
“I’ll be back, Jonesy. Don’t go anywhere. I’m counting on your helping me once I have a clear head.”
Jonesy gave her an imaginary nod. Turning around, Margery grabbed her clothes and headed toward the bathroom. Hopefully, this would be peaceful, like the first part of her cabin trip, and would allow her to think about things. She just hoped it didn’t get interrupted like that cabin trip had done.
She wanted to be able to relax and let her mind go blank. Almost like resetting her brain so that when she finished, she would have a clarity.
Margery turned on the shower and started to strip. Her body craved the feeling of being under the hot water.
“Just a couple more seconds,” she mumbled to herself.
Margery didn’t know why she didn’t think of doing this earlier. Anytime she got overwhelmed with something, she always took a hot shower. Sometimes for a long time, to the point when she ran out of hot water.
She tested the water with her hand and hissed as itburned her skin. It always hurts for the first couple of seconds, but after that, it was pure bliss.
Pulling back the curtain, she stepped in and closed it behind her.
“You’re ready.”
She took a deep breath and let the water spray her back. Margery clenched her jaw and took deep breaths through her nose. The first couple of seconds were by far the hardest. It was a mental game. If she could last through this and get to the good part, she could do just about anything.
Slowly, she turned her body, allowing the water to hit new parts of her skin.
“You’ve got this,” she whispered to herself.
Once it became pure bliss, she relaxed and just let the water hit her skin. She hadn’t even thought of asking Daddy if there was a time limit for the hot water. But right now, she didn’t care. She needed this, and she was going to take it. Even if Ethan told her there was, she probably still would have taken up all the hot water.
Margery didn’t know how long she stood in the shower. At one point, she started to get lightheaded, but she didn’t want to leave. It felt so good and kept her mind off everything.
“Little one?” Daddy called out.
She stayed quiet. Maybe he would realize she was taking a shower and leave her alone. She needed to stop calling him Daddy in her mind. It was becoming more comfortable, more attached, and she hadn’t even made up her mind yet.
Or maybe she had and was struggling with her decision.Margery didn’t know, and she didn’t really want to think about it.
“Little one?” Daddy’s voice rang clearer. He was in the bathroom. “Margery? Can you answer Daddy?”
But she didn’t want to end her bliss. She wanted to continue to have a blank mind for just a little bit longer.
“It’s awfully hot and steamy in here. How long have you been in here?”
