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“Anytime, anywhere,” she said as she swayed side to side. “Forever.”
“Anytime, anywhere,” I say to the picture. “Forever.” But I avoid looking her in the eyes. I put the picture down before turning and making my way to the kitchen.
I put the pod in the coffee maker before grabbing a mug and putting it under the spout and pressing the button. My phone rings from the counter, making me walk over and I see it’s my father.
“Hello,” I say, putting the phone to my ear, “it’s not even seven.”
He laughs on his side of the phone. “I’ve been up since five,” he tells me and then stops for a second, like he’s wondering what to say next. “What’s going on?”
I pick up the mug of coffee, bringing it to my lips and taking a sip. “What are you asking me?”
I turn to head to the barn, wondering if maybe Emmett said something but also knowing that he wouldn’t. Pulling open the door, I step outside. The sun is now high in the sky as I walk down the steps I just walked up. “I’m asking you if you are okay.”
I stop mid step. “Why would you be asking that?” I say, my voice tight, and I have to wonder if he heard about Autumn and me. Not that there is anything with Autumn and me, but just that we were together. My stomach lurches, the guilt rushes through me, and I think I’m going to be sick. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?” My voice is low, almost a whisper.
I hear him taking a deep breath in. “A couple of things.” His voice is soft but tight at the same time.
I grip the handle of my mug even tighter. “Which are?”
“Well, for one”—my neck tingles with anticipation and nerves—“I heard that Autumn is back in town and—” I want to be surprised he’s heard, but I also know that not a lot of things happen here that he doesn’t know about. It’s the way the small-town life works.
“You heard right.” I cut him off before he even finishes, not wanting to discuss Autumn with him or anyone else. “There is nothing to say on that topic,” I bite out, hoping it’s the end of this part of the conversation.
“Okay, we’ll table that for later,” he backpedals, and I shake my head.
“We aren’t tabling anything for later,” I say between clenched teeth, “because there is nothing to discuss about her. At fucking all.”
“I heard you two had a confrontation.” My eyes turn toward the barn and straight to Emmett, who is drinking his coffee by the fence. His eyes are on Lilah as she races around the fenced area with her horse. She moves side to side on her horse as she pushes her harder and harder.
“Emmett tell you that?” I ask.
“Actually, he didn’t.” My father tries to cover for him, or maybe he didn’t. It’s a small town, and anyone could have seen us talking to each other. Gossip spreads faster than a wildfire in a small town. “The other thing is.” I put the coffee down on the counter before I reach a hand out and brace myself by gripping the side. “It’s almost the anniversary.” My eyes close, and I’m expecting to see Jennifer, but it comes out black. There is nothing, no vision of her… nothing. Not a smiling face, not a sad face, nothing but blackness. “I think we should do something to celebrate her life.”
“I don’t know,” I say softly.
“I know you don’t.” His voice comes out just as soft. “It’s why I’m bringing it up now. We can talk about it when your mother and I visit in a couple of weeks.”
“Yeah, fine,” I say, just to get him off the topic. “Let’s do that.” Knowing I’m not going to agree to do anything they want to do.
“I’ll let you have that play also,” he states, picking up on that. “Heard you got a new friend.”
My hand loosens from the countertop as I reach for my cup again, knowing the conversation about Autumn and then Jennifer has ended, at least for now. “You been hearing a lot of things for someone who doesn’t live in this town.” I make the joke, and he laughs at it.
“You should know how this works by now.” I turn to walk out the door. “Eyes are everywhere in a small town.” I walk down the steps and wait for him to say the next thing I know he needs to say because he trailed off, and he always does that when he’s thinking of how to break the next piece of news to you. Like you have to brace for something. “I want you to be happy, Son.” His voice is filled with worry.
“I’m happy,” I lie to him, lie right through my teeth, “as a clam.” I decide that it’s time to end this conversation. “Okay, Dad, as much as I love this heart-to-heart, I have to go and check on the new horses.”
“Is that your way of telling me to fuck off?” He chuckles.
“I would never.” I smile. “Tell Mom I love her.”
“Will do,” he agrees. “See you soon. Love you.”
“Right back at you,” I say, disconnecting the call, putting the phone in my back pocket, and going to the fence where Emmett stands. My eyes are on Lilah as she stops racing her horse. She brings her to a trot, leans down, rubs her neck, and whispers something to her.
“Morning,” he greets, looking over at me. The scowl all over his face.
“Morning,” I return to him, raising my cup and watching a couple of the ranch hands bring out the new horses.
