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Through the window I heard her cackling as she turned the engine over. It was obvious she had the upper hand and she looked thrilled.
For some reason, I thought of Jasper, slithering around the floor of the van. My gaze shot to Jack's. “Where's Jasper?” I asked.
“I was able to get him off your seat belt, but he slipped out of my hand and went beneath the seat where I couldn't reach him.”
I stared at him dumbly. “You mean he's still loose?” I shivered at the idea.
Jack only shrugged.
I turned to shout to Lorraine through the window. “Um, you might not want to?—”
“To what?” Lorraine yelled, her eyes beady. “Don't mess with me.”
I glanced to Jack, who shrugged again and said, “Short of breaking the window and strangling her, there isn't much we can do.”
I held my hands up. Hopefully, she'd ditch the van somewhere I could find, and without damaging it—or any of my expensive tools. My entire livelihood was in there and I hadn't finished paying off my dad yet. I didn't need a crazy lady blowing my career now.
We stood there and watched as Lorraine pulled away, leaving us behind, snow silently falling, forming a white blanket around us. If we weren't stranded on the side of the road, it might have been romantic. But it was just cold and damp. The van made it about five hundred feet before the brake lights came on, it fishtailed wildly, did a one-eighty in the middle of the street and came to a stop. Luckily, no other cars were coming.
Jack looked at me, I looked at him, and we dashed toward the van. He made it there first. His legs were longer. He banged on the window yelling, “Lorraine, unlock the door!”
She did, shakily, and Jack had the driver's door wrenched open, helping her out by the time I got there. I was out of breath and much warmer than a minute ago.
Lorraine was mumbling something about being attacked by a gnome, her hand covering her nose. From my spot next to Jack, I could see blood trickling around her fingers.
I thought about what I had in the truck, dashed to the back and opened a door, eyes darting around for Jasper. I reached in quickly and grabbed an old t-shirt I had saved to use for work and quickly shut the door.
“Here, hold this to your nose.” I gave Lorraine the rag.
She took it woozily and hissed when she pressed it against her face. “There was a fucking snake in there!” Her eyes were wild as she looked back at the van.
“Take her to the side of the road. I'm going to move the van out of the street.” Jack climbed in and steered it carefully over to the berm.
I waved to a driver who slowed to help, thanked him and told him we were fine. “How did you hit your nose?” Putting one arm around her bony shoulder, I guided Lorraine over next to the van and away from the street.
“This snake climbed up onto the passenger seat and I freaked. I lost control on the ice,” she swallowed, clearly flustered from her ordeal. “The van swerved hard and this garden gnome came out of nowhere and clocked me in the face.”
George. I tried not to smile at the perverted humor about the situation. The poor woman couldn't get a break.
Jack rejoined us. “We'll take you to the ER to get you checked out. You might have a broken nose.”
“No shit, Sherlock,” she said, her voice all nasally. “Oh, no, not in that thing!” Lorraine pointed, wild eyed as I guided her toward my van. “What the hell's a snake doing in there?”
“He's a first-grade class pet. I was taking him to someone's house to be watched,” I answered.
“I found Jasper and put him back in the terrarium,” Jack said reassuringly. “He won't get out now. I put the tool box on top and wedged it all in the corner. Come on, pile in. It's freezing cold and the snow's going down my neck.”
“I want to see the snake in the cage before I climb in,” Lorraine commented nervously.
I did, too. No way I'd tell her that, but Jasper needed to be in his terrarium before I even considered getting back inside. No fucking way was I getting back in that van without the snake on full lockdown.
Jack opened the back door, showed us Jasper happily back in his home. I decided to suck it up and we piled in and drove to the ER in silence, Lorraine and I sharing the passenger seat. George the Gnome in my lap, his sly grin still in place.
I felt kind of bad for Lorraine. I could completely relate to the whole loose snake scare. Jack and I were lucky we hadn't beendive bombed by George like she had. And back to her original reason for stalking me. She had every right to be mad, to go crazy, if Violet really had slept with her husband. Didn't sound like something Violet would do, but there was the whole high school thing with Jack that made me consider it a possibility.
Lorraine climbed out at the hospital entrance, favoring her leg and staunching the nosebleed.
“I know you don't believe me, but I really do have an identical twin.”
