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I glare at his back as he exits the kitchen, holding Alderchuck tighter. For once, fucking him is the last thing on my mind. That’s not to say it’s not on my mind, it’s just lower priority right now. There’s something else I’m driven to do.
“We need to make a stop at Home Depot tomorrow,” I say.
“On Boxing Day? Why the fuck, Sutter?”
“You don’t have enough locks on your door.”
“Oh, God. Oh, no. What the fuck did Jack say?”
“He said he knows you better than I do.”
Something about the conversation with Jack set me off and when I’m set off, my emotional home is protection. It doesn’t always make rational sense, but it’s what feels the most rational to that irrational part of my brain. It’s more a matter of beingagitated. Actively protecting the ones I care about calms my agitation.
Most of it.
Usually.
“And that equals more locks on my door to your Neanderthal brain?”
“Yes.”
“If it helps, I don’t understand a shit ton about you, but you don’t see me driving down to the local hardware store and buying them out of locking devices. Relax, Sutter.”
I shrug. “It’s happening.”
“No fucking way. I have all the locks I need on my door. You can go right ahead and fuck off with your locks.”
“That’s it. You’re gonna get it, Alderchuck.”
He knows to move and move fast on those powerful hockey legs of his. Casey races off, thinking if he’s out of range I can’t nail his ass, but before I can take another step forward, I catch sight of the slight one, the tender-looking Meyer child with wispy brown hair. Her white dress sways to a halt as her bare little toes press into the hardwood floor. Her tiny hand is clutched around something she squeezes tightly, unsure if she wants to show it to the world, studying me with narrowed eyes. My breath remains trapped in my lungs, on the tenterhooks of her scrutiny. Finally, a knowing smile spreads onto her young face.
“You love him,” Lorelei whispers.
I’m caught out, and while I may be a lot of things, I’m not a man who lies to little girls. I bring a finger to my lips, indicating it’s still a secret.
She nods, padding over to me, handing me the treasured item in her fist. It drops onto my meaty palm like lead in a bucket, but it’s not lead.
It’s copper.
My skin breaks out with gooseflesh, and I let go a careful exhale, my heart thudding in my chest.
“Theo and I found this. He wanted to use it for making wishes in the fountain next time we get to go. I punched him in the arm and took it because it made me think of you.”
I stare at the Canadian penny, tears filling my eyes. Dammit, Dad. Sending the little Meyer doll to do your bidding? That’s horror movie creepy.
Or.Christmas magic, I guess.
“Tell him, okay?” she says.
“I will, darlin’.”
“Okie. Bye!” She pads away, singing something, zero idea that I’m losing my mind. I bat the tears away and slip the penny into my pocket. Talk about messages from the beyond.
“Sutter! How long does it take you to walk across the kitchen?” Casey’s obnoxious voice calls from the living room. Why am I so gone for this man?
But I’m beyond needing the answer to that question. I am. It’s a Matrix I don’t want to find my way out of.
All I need is the courage to tell him. Officially make him mine.
