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Miles looks around like he’d forgotten we were in public until now. The only people we can see are an elderly couple, but they’re far enough away that they can’t eavesdrop.
Still, he grabs my purse out of the cart with one hand, and my wrist with the other. He pulls me to a door that I think is surely for employees, but suddenly there’s a bathroom door, and he’s pushing it open.
He shuts it behind him, closing us into the cramped space that’s only meant for one person at a time.
His fingers slide down until they’re laced with mine, and he gives me a reassuring squeeze.
“I know things have been bad, but they’re not unreasonable people. I can talk to my mom, I can help her see this for what it is.”
“It’s not going to be that easy,” I whisper. Funny that I lower my voice now that we do have privacy.
“You’re right, it won’t be. We’ll argue some more. Justin will lose his shit. Things will be tense at first, but nothing is going to happen that won’t be worth it. If the only other option is losing you, I'll deal with all of it. They're not the unforgiving type, it won't always be like this.”
I run a hand down my face, trying to reel in the explosion of emotion that’s begging to be let out. I still think dropping to the ground and sobbing is a fair option.
“They’d forgiveyou. They’d get over the fact that you are with me, but I wouldn’t get the same treatment. They’ll always see me as his ex. Amelia knows how to hold a grudge, I heard what she said about me at the party.” I watch him wince slightly at that. “She never saw me as a victim to her teenage son, she saw me as the problem.”
“You don’t know that.“
“I can already see it. She’d only ask you to come over for dinner on nights I’m busy, and ignore me when I’m there for holidays. I don’t think I have it in me to try to prove myself to someone that's been decided on her opinion of me since I was fifteen.”
“It’s not decided! Whatever idea my mom has stuck in her head can’t be impossible to get out. She spoke so highly of you before she saw whatever this is between us.”
He isn’t entirely wrong. There’s definitely a disconnect between us, but we’ve talked and joked around the office enough that it felt like old times. It felt like how things were those first couple of years after we met.
“Justin has enough shit on his plate already. He knows whatever he did to you was wrong, and he’s getting his karma for it.”
I wish that fact was satisfying.
Miles steps even closer to me, until all I’m inhaling is his spearmint breath. “I know you think it's easier to walk away, but I think it might be the hardest thing I’d ever have to do. I'm already in this.”
I felt it, too. I felt his decision, felt everything that was holding him back fall away with our last kiss.
The man in front of me has the best heart. It's intoxicating, the way he's holding out for me. The way he doesn't want to let me walk away from it.
I have never andwill neverwant to, but it's never been about what I want. If it was, I’d have let myself drown in this mess a long time ago.
His free hand slides back into my hair, and it feels so right. It makes me wonder why I’m holding onto this pit in my stomach like it’s a lifeline. His touch feels much more like something that could save me.
I must be so transparent. Whatever he sees in my expression is enough for him to slowly lean in. Just the anticipation of it is the most relief I’ve felt in so long.
I watch, paralyzed, as he pushes right past my metaphorical walls, and his lips land on mine. The world falls off my shoulders in an instant, and I don’t care about anything other than him.
“Please tell me I can do that again,” he breathes after pulling away too quickly.
I close the distance, not thinking, just feeling all the need that hasn’t stopped building in me. Need for him alone, that nothing and nobody has been able to sate.
He eagerly returns my kiss, and his hand grips the base of my neck, keeping my head tilted at the perfect angle. It’s messy, and a little rough, and everything I could have hoped for when his body presses into mine.
Being stuck between the wall and his hard body doesn’t feel like being stuck at all. It feels like being set free. Even more sowhen I push right back, and I feel the groan that vibrates out of him.
“I don’t think I can keep my hands to myself,” he tells me between breaths as his hands travel down, tracing my body until they land on my hips. He holds me in a tight grip to grind against me harder. The friction is enough to drive every single thought out of my head. Nothing matters but this heat building in me, and the promise of more.
“Then don’t,” I pant.
Neither of us care where we are, or if anyone can hear us on the other side of the door. The two of us are all that exists.
His solid grip shifts to my thighs and he lifts me up. My legs instinctively wrap around him, but it still doesn't feel like I could ever possibly get close enough. He moves us over to the small counter with ease, setting me down before him.
