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He pretends to shudder. “I have way more in common with you than I ever thought I would.” I smack the side of his headalmosthard enough to hurt. “Now go take a shower, you smell like shit.”
He’s not wrong, I don’t even have to sniff myself to check. I realize how pathetic it is, letting myself go like this. If she was anyone else, this might have lasted half the time it has, but she’s not.
“Yeah, thanks.”
“And talk to her, dumbass. Fix it.”
“She’s not responding to any of my texts,” I admit defeatedly.
“So go see her.”
“I think it’s frowned upon to show up at her front door unannounced as many times as I have.”
He rolls his eyes dramatically. “You’re downsobad. Start with a shower, figure the rest out from there. It’s probably hard to think through all the stench.”
“I’m going, get out of my house,” I mutter as I head to my bathroom. “And put that key back, there’s a reason you don’t have one.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll put it back as soon as I make a copy.”
I ignore him, assuming he’s kidding. I really don’t want to think about having to change my locks. I have more important things to deal with.
31
Autumn
My fleece lined tights and little black skirt, paired with my favorite turtle neck make me feel human for the first time in a long time. Human enough that I leave the house before nine, craving some breakfast. I haven’t been cooking at all, and I’m excited about the prospect. I could really go for some bacon and eggs, maybe even pancakes.
There's only so much fast food a person can live off of, and I'm reaching the limit.
I end up piling all the breakfast ingredients I can find into my shopping cart. I’vemissedhash browns, and sausage, and I make some amazing French toast. My mouth is watering in the bread aisle.
I’m deciding between cinnamon raisin and blueberry bagels when my heart flies out of my chest.
Miles stands to my left, looking like he’s seen a ghost. We’re both stiff, unmoving, unblinking. I take in all of the details Ican without being too obvious. His hands in his pockets, his wrinkled sweater.
I can’t believe he’s in front of me. It takes so much effort not to completely lose it. I have the urge to do something drastic, and I’m stuck between collapsing to the ground sobbing or grabbing him and showing him how happy I am to see his face. There’s no denying it, as much as I should.
“You can tell me to walk away if that’s what you want, Autumn. But I’ll tell you right now, it’s the last fucking thing I want to do.”
I shake my head in response and pretend his words don’t force the air out of my lungs. Not even the smallest, most rational parts of me want to see him go.
He takes a step toward me, overwhelming my senses. My body is so aware of his, and every breath I take is filled with the calming, fresh scent of him.
“Why?” I manage to gasp the words. As if I don’t know that he hasn't stopped thinking about the night of the office party anymore than I have. I still feel like breaking down every time Amelia’s words ring through my head.
You’ll see that, too.
He gives me the smallest of hopeful smiles, before leaning against the shelving next to me. All of my focus goes to the muscled arms he crosses. The crewneck he’s wearing is tight enough to leave little to the imagination. Memories flash in my mind. What they looked like in his moonlit living room. How they felt wrapped around me.
“Your phone full of unanswered messages can answer that question for you.”
“Fair enough.” I don't tell him that I haven't gotten any of the texts or why that is. I regret my choice already.
I realize I’m still clutching the bagels in my hands, and throw them back down on their shelf. His eyes follow my movements,before scanning me from head to toe. I might as well be naked with how vulnerable it makes me feel.
“Are you okay?”
It’s not a question I know how to answer right now. He looks nervous enough that he must already know that much. He must be as scared as I am that there’s no easy way for this to happen.
