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“There isn’t enough time left in the day for me to explain.”
“Try and shorten it for me. This show is pissin’ me off anyway.” She throws a hand towards the television where Family Feud is playing.
I scratch the back of my neck as I stop what I’m doing to turn around to face her. If looks could kill, she’d be a serial killer. I don’t think she knows how to relax the muscles in her face, even when she’s in a good mood.
I don’t know how the fuck to word this. It felt like my heart jumped right out of my chest when I saw the bed, white sheets thrown to the side. I only knew it was still where it belonged because the image of her lying there, taking care of herself, had my blood aggressively pumping downwards.
“I guess you could say I have a crush,” I start. That seems like a safe enough statement. It’s anunderstatement, but that’s not important.
“That’s a bread crumb, I want the whole slice. A crush doesn’t leave your eyes looking that tired.”
“No, but this job does,” I joke. “You can’t send all of our new hires running, Patty.”
“She was nervous, and chatty, and I wasn’t in the mood.”
I hold back on telling her that she’s always chatty with me. I have no idea what I did to deserve it.
“I know you love your job. Try again.”
“You are relentless,” I tell her and turn back to the towel on the counter.
The sound to her show is suddenly muted.
“If you know that about me already, why are you dragging this out? What’s this girl doing to you?”
“How do you know it’s a girl?”
I know that she’s rolling her eyes without even having to look at her.
“Because I’ve never seen my grandson flirt until the day he met you. Only a straight man would’ve pretended not to notice the way you did. He’s too handsome.” She says it so matter-of-factly that I chuckle.
“Fair enough. I just…” I search for the right words. The less intense version of what I’m feeling. “I’m not supposed to like her. It’s complicated.”
“Everything is complicated. Who cares?”
“My mom, apparently.”
“Oh no, not your mother.” She says sarcastically. “What does she have to do with anything? I know you’re not still living under her roof.”
I’ve never met any of my grandparents, but Patty feels like a grandmother to me. I know the feeling is mutual or she wouldn’t pry into my life as much as she does.
It’s why I know I shouldn’t, but I keep answering her.
“There’s more. There’s… history.” I pause, dreading the revelation. “With my brother.”
It’s silent for five uncomfortable seconds until Patty surprises me by slapping her knee and shouting a laugh.
“She—” Patty pauses to catch her breath, but just keeps on laughing. “She switched brothers? I’d hate her too, you idiot. Any mama would.”
“It’s not like that.”
Autumn hasn’t done anything but exist, and I’m tired of being the only one that believes that. She’s the one that got hurt, she’s the one that’s still struggling thanks to her time as Justin’s girlfriend.
I hate that Patty isn’t the only one that’s made assumptions about her.
“Doesn’t matter. It’s messy, mama’s want their boys to avoid messy.” She is speaking from experience, she has five of them.
“It’s not like that,” I say again, but I know my voice sounds weak. “It wasn’t on purpose, it just kind of happened. It didn’t evenreallyhappen.”
