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A flick of my windshield wipers reveals that my time is up, and I’m not excited. How does one play it cool while sitting across from the mother of the man who has you feeling this conflicted?
I’m going to figure it out, or die of embarrassment while trying.
Amelia picks up on my mood the second I walk in the building.
“Why the long face?”
I give her my best fake smile.
“Didn’t sleep very well, still trying to wake up,” I lie. While I couldn’t fall asleep until after midnight because I was waiting on someone’s call, I slept in late enough to make up for it.
Then I woke up with the worst sinking feeling.
“Do you want to go on a coffee run? I’m having the same issue this morning, I could use a caramel macchiato” she says with a sleepy smile for emphasis.
“Sure, that’d be great.” A little walk to the nearest coffee stand will be a pleasant distraction.
“Kaitlyn will be here in between meetings, would you mind grabbing her a coffee? Black.” I raise a brow and she gives me an agreeing nod. “I thought she was a green tea smoothie girl at first.Thatwas an awkward day.”
I fish my wallet out of my bag, not wanting to carry the whole thing down the street.
“Oh, put that back." She laughs a little, and my cheeks heat. “Here." She pulls what looks to be spare change from her back pocket, except the bill she hands me isn't spare change. It's a hundred dollar bill.
It’s always so odd for me to see people be so casual about their money.
Andthat’swhy I’m not the one paying for coffee.
“If they can’t make change, you can grab some muffins or something. Thanks, dear.” She looks back down at the color swatches on her desk, and I take that as my dismissal. Without grabbing my phone, I head out.
I love the days where the sun stays hidden behind the clouds, and everything’s left in a comfortable shade. It makes me feel capable of anything. Right now for instance, it’s making me feel like it doesn’t matter that Miles didn’t call me last night. I can get over it, even if we never talk again. I’ve gotten over much worse.
A couple passes me, walking the biggest golden retriever I’ve ever seen. The dog couldn’t be more different than my small pal Freddy, but that’s where my mind goes. I picture him and Miles snuggled up on his couch, playing games.
It takes more than a day to lose a habit.
All the buildings downtown are old, and they remind me of a small town in a Hallmark movie. Green vines trailing up walls, and string lights wrapped around lamp posts. It feels like they skipped all of the coming holidays and went straight to Christmas.
Even the coffee stand I approach has frosted windows that are begging to be covered in drawings of snowmen and candy canes. It makes me smile to myself.
As I wait, I eavesdrop. There’s one person ahead of me at the walk up window. They’re clearly flirting, it’s evident in every giggle that comes from the girl working inside. I glance at the back of the stranger, and he seems good looking. Broad shoulders, smooth black hair. I’ve never been good at flirting, but I imagine it must be freeing. To walk around with charisma, and confidence, and use it on unsuspecting baristas. I have noneof those things, and even if I did, there’s only one person that I feel like flirting with.
The way my mind keeps traveling back to him is really inconvenient.
And by inconvenient, I mean it makes me nauseous.
I realize as the guy grabs his coffee and leaves, that I recognize the girl in the window. It takes me the couple steps towards her to put it together, but I want to run when it hits me. If I thought I felt sick before, that was nothing.
It’s Justin’s wife. Isabelle.
TheIsabelle. The one that bullied me at school because it took him too long to break up with me.
She doesn’t seem to recognize me, her face stuck in customer service mode. It doesn’t surprise me, I couldn’t look more different than I used to.
“Good morning! What can we get you?” Her voice is disgustingly cheery.
I hesitate, gawking like the awkward human I am, before blurting out the drinks I need. She’s good at her job, giving no reaction to my quivering voice. She keeps that smile on.
“Do you have change for this?” I ask her.
