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“Hello? Justin?” Her voice is so quiet coming from the small speaker, but I’m on high alert. I could hear a pin drop.
He’s breathing hard as he walks over to end the call. That’s what he does first. He doesn’t say a word, doesn’t attempt to comfort me in any way until Isabelle can’t hear it. Then he approaches me slowly, like I’m a wounded animal ready to pounce with one wrong move.
“I thought you were at work. Why are you here?” His voice is so calm, as if there’s nothing important going on.
“Who were you talking to?” I ask him. My own words come out eerily quiet.
He shrugs, doing his best to feign innocence. “A friend from school.”
“Who?”
“Tony,” he says without hesitation.
The bold lie is such a shock, that a cold wave washes through me. He has to know I saw the screen, that I heard part of the conversation. I'm feeling like I might pass out if I don’t get out of this room. I ignore him when he calls my name, and I run away.
I’m mortified when I see his brother is now standing in the kitchen. I want to pass him without a word being said, but the concerned look on Miles’ face makes me pause. “Are you—”
I shake my head before he finishes the question, and I keep going.
I don’t know how those two are related.
I just barely make it outside, before Justin grabs my arm and pulls me around to face him. The door slams behind us, giving us a small amount of privacy, but the front porch still isn’t the place I want to have this conversation.
We have to break up. I can’t believe what’s happening right now. I’m going to lose the people I’ve come to depend on. This house that’s felt more like a home to me than anywhere has.
“I didn’t know you were coming over,” is what he has to say to me.
I laugh harshly in response. I can’t get out of his grip, although I try. He just grips tighter, to the point that it should hurt, but I can’t feel anything other than the pain of his betrayal.
“I’m sorry, Autumn. I’m so fucking stupid. You’re just not always here, and I get so—”
“Stop talking.”
He doesn’t.
“I’m really so sorry, please babe,” he pleads with me.
Babe. All I hear is the way he just called her that, too.
“She asked me out, and I said no at first, I swear. I can show you the messages, I tried to say no! She just kept confronting me at school, and sending me pictures, and I was—”
He goes quiet for an entire second, taking in the disbelieving look on my face.
“I said stop, Justin.”
“I can’t, I’m freaking out. I don’t want to lose you.” He just goes on and on, and I have no choice but to mentally check out for a minute. “I only want to be with you, you’re everything to me. Please say you’ll forgive me.”
He doesn’t wait for me to speak, he doesn’t give me a chance to forgive him at all. He just keeps going. He puts his arms around me, wipes tears from my face, begs for forgiveness.
I stand there and feel like I’m watching this happen from a bird’s eye view. I think I believe he’s sorry, but sorry doesn’t fix anything. I’ve never been in a situation like this before. I’ve never had anyone tell me what I’m supposed to do. What if he’s telling the truth and this isn’t going to happen again?
I want to believe him, I want our relationship to be okay. Losing him would probably hurt more than this does.
“Please, babe.”
There is some comfort in his presence, in the fact that he’s fighting for me to forgive him. I don’t think I want him to stop fighting for me.
“It meant literally nothing. I’ll never talk to her again, I’ll block her right now.” He pulls his phone out to show me, but when he gets the block button pulled up on the screen, he hesitates. “Do you want me to? Will that help?”
