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“I was so rude to that poor girl.” She looks genuinely regretful. "Because of thingsyoutold me!"
He falls down into a seat at the table, looking exhausted.
“I know.”
“Do you? Do you know how horrible I feel for trusting my son to tell me the truth?”
“I was a kid,” he says again with less defensiveness.
We’re stuck in our heads, processing what this conversation means for all of us. It’s good that my mom feels bad, it means that she’ll apologize. She’ll make up for it. We canmove forward.
I admit my next words on a nervous breath.
“I'm in love with her.”
My mother takes the seat next to him at the table.
“So you’ve been seeing her this whole time?” She sounds tired.
“That’s not exactly true.” I go into detail, explaining what the last couple months have looked like. I can’t emphasize enough how much it sucked when I was without her. How I’ve never missed anyone more, and how I never want to miss her again.
My mother’s response is to grab me into the tightest hug we’ve ever shared.
“I’m sorry. I hate that I’m the reason you were unhappy. I just want you to be loved the way I know you deserve.”
“I am.”
She backs away at that, enough to look up at me.
“You know she loves you?”
“I do,” I say confidently.
My mom straightens her posture and looks me right in the eye.
"And you're sure you love her? She's the one for you?"
I don’t hesitate to nod. “She is.”
You don’t feel the way I do for something that isn’t meant to work out.
She pulls me in for another hug. “I’m so sorry, honey.”
“It’s okay, mom. I just want to move forward.”
"We can do that.”
Autumn
The silence between us is heavy, but there’s not a single word I can think of to say to Amelia. Not when I know how she feels about me. I could plead my case but I don't think she'd believe a word of it.
I realize she’s taking me in like she’s also questioning why she’s standing at my front door. I let her. I just keep standing there, hoping whatever she comes up with isn’t going to hurt me any worse than she already has.
“I don’t know what to say,” I admit.
She nods as if in agreement.
“I don’t blame you. I’m sure this is a shock, me turning up like this.” The smile she offers me seems almost apologetic. “I guess I'll just start. I know I haven’t been fair in the way that I viewedyou. I’m a mom before I’m anything else and being Justin’s mom wasn’t easy for a long time. I think you saw a lot of it.”
