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It was a cold, rainy evening. The kind of weather that chills you to the bone. I remember the argument, his voice rising over the patter of rain against the windows. Then came the slam of the door, so final, so loud it seemed to shake the entire house.
I held Penelope as she cried, her tiny body wracked with sobs she couldn't understand. My own tears mixed with hers, a cocktail of heartbreak and betrayal. How could he just walk away from us? From her?
The pain of that abandonment washes over me anew, as fresh as if it happened yesterday. It makes my chest tight, my breathing shallow. I wrap my arms around myself, trying to hold the pieces together.
But what's worse is when Penelope starts asking about Jason. Most days, I think she doesn't feel the pain I do, but some nights, she crawls into my bed, her little face scrunched up with confusion and hurt, and asks why her daddy doesn't come to see her anymore.
I never have a good answer for her, and that stings like salt in an open wound. How do you explain to a six-year-old that her father chose to walk away? I can't excuse Jason's behavior, and I can't shield her from the hurt. I feel like I'm failing her every time I stumble over my words, trying to find an explanation that won't shatter her world even more.
Which makes the entire situation with Rendal all the more terrifying. He's everything Jason wasn't - kind, attentive, and so good with both Penelope and Zola. But if I allow myself to fall for him, to open my heart again, it might rip open old wounds not just for me but for my daughter. And I just don't know if she can handle any more heartache. The thought of her getting attached to another father figure only to potentially lose him too... It makes my stomach churn.
I'm not sure I can handle it either. The risk seems so high, and I've already been burned once. The idea of putting myself out there again, of trusting someone with not just my heart but Penelope's too, it's almost paralyzing. But then I think of Rendal's warm smile, the way he looks at me like I'm something precious, and I wonder if maybe, just maybe, it might be worth the risk.
The shrill ring of my phone startles me out of my reverie. I fumble for it, my heart skipping a beat when I see Rendal's name on the screen.
"Hello?" I answer, trying to keep my voice steady.
"Hey, Chloe," Rendal's deep voice comes through, sending a warm flutter through my chest. "I was wondering if you and Penelope would be up for a playdate sometime soon?"
I glance at Penelope, still running around the yard, her laughter echoing in the air. A smile tugs at my lips. "Actually, why don't you two come over now? We're just hanging out at home."
"Really? That'd be great. We'll head over in a bit."
After we hang up, I call Penelope over. "Guess what, sweetie? Zola and her dad are coming to play!"
Her eyes light up. "Yay! Can we have a tea party?"
"Of course," I laugh, ruffling her hair.
Thirty minutes later, I hear a car pull up. Penelope races to the door, yanking it open before I can even reach it.
"Zola!" she squeals, hugging her friend.
Rendal chuckles, his imposing figure filling the doorway. "Hey, Chloe," he says, his blue eyes twinkling.
"Hi," I breathe, suddenly aware of how messy my hair must be from the porch swing.
The girls dash off to Penelope's room, leaving us adults in a moment of awkward silence.
"So," Rendal starts, rubbing the back of his neck. "How've you been?"
"Good, good." I nod, gesturing for him to come in. "Just enjoying the nice weather. How about you?"
We chat easily as we make our way to the backyard, watching the girls play. Rendal's presence is comforting, like a warm blanket on a chilly evening. As the afternoon wears on, I find myself relaxing more and more.
Before I know it, the sun is starting to set. "Would you two like to stay for dinner?" I ask, surprising myself with the invitation.
Rendal's face lights up. "We'd love to, if it's not too much trouble."
"Not at all," I smile, leading everyone inside.
As I prepare a simple pasta dish, Rendal helps set the table, and the girls chatter excitedly about their day. The kitchen fills with laughter and the aroma of garlic and herbs.
Sitting down to eat, I can't help but notice how natural this feels – the four of us together, sharing a meal. Rendal catches my eye and smiles, and I feel a warmth spread through me that has nothing to do with the food.
Dinner only gives them another burst of energy, but we don't mind, letting them play together until they are exhausted. Only once they are collapsing in a giggling heap on the living room floor do Rendal and I decide to call it a night.
"Alright, munchkins," Rendal's deep voice rumbles with amusement. "Time to clean up before we head out."
