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I know it’s unfair of me to continue to compare how I feel about Busy with how I felt about Sarah, especially when I realize now that Sarah barely even registers on the meter. But at the same time, how can I not? How can I not use the way my marriage crumbled like a sandcastle under a wave as a reference point? Especially when I’m quickly realizing the kind of stronghold Busy has claimed on my heart could weather any storm.
Busy and I still have some things to sort through, still have plenty of uphill battles ahead. But god, how much easier it is to scale those walls when you have a helping hand, when the person at your side wants the best for you as much as you want the best for them.
I reach out my arm above Junie’s head and take Busy’s hand in mine. She startles briefly, her eyes opening and searchingthe tent. Then our gazes connect, and she settles, entwining her fingers with mine.
This is what I want.
What I need.
For the rest of my life—whatever that life might look like, however good or bad, easy or difficult, short or long it is—I want to be the one to hold her hand, like she said that night in my cabin.
“In the end, I’m just looking for someone who can hold my hand when things are hard. Can you do that?”
As we lie there, Busy and Junie and Sydney dozing next to me, I know I’ve never felt as happy or as content as I feel in this moment.
So, yes, Busy, I can do that. As long as you’re there to take my hand, I will hold it tight in mine.
The sunrise is breathtaking.
I’ve lived in Cedar Point my entire life, and never have I seen a sunrise as glorious as the one I witness with the Mitchell family the following morning.
Though, to be honest, part of me wonders if that has to do with my own realizations in the tent last night, if my feelings for Busy have cleared away some of the cobwebs so I can see things in a new light. I think whatever went through my mind is reflecting on the outside, because the way Busy looks at me, her eyes soft and her smile sweet, makes me think she knows where I’m at.
By the time we make it back to the house, I can barely go a few minutes without taking her hand in mine, the act suddenly feeling so natural.
“Come on, Junie Bee,” Busy says, carrying her daughter into their cabin. “Let’s get you a bath and then a nap. How does that sound?”
“No nap.”
Busy giggles, and I love the sound of it as I follow behind them, carrying some of her gear.
“No nap, huh? Alright, well we’ll see about that.”
We’re hit by the heat as soon as we walk in the door, and Busy groans.
“I should have left all the windows open.” She leads me into the living room, where she sets Junie down then turns to take the bags from my hands. “Thanks for this. If you want to leave some of our crap in the back of your truck, I can come out and unload it in a little bit. I don’t want you to have to do it all.”
I shake my head. “Nah. You take care of your monster, and I’ll leave the rest of your things on your porch.”
She takes a deep breath and lets out a long sigh, her entire body tired but her smile still genuine. “Thanks. And thanks for coming, too. I’m really glad you were there.”
“Me, too.”
We watch each other for a beat before an idea comes to me. “Hey, why don’t you and Junie come over tonight,” I say. “We can set up a movie for her, I’ll cook dinner. And when Junie needs to go down, we can set her up on my bed and then you and I can talk.” I take her hand in mine, twisting our fingers together. “About everything.”
Busy’s eyes brighten and she nods. “That sounds really good.”
I step forward and pull her in, my arm around her shoulders, then I close my eyes as I just hold her there for a minute. Ibreathe her in, that familiar hint of jasmine mixed with the dust and sweat from our long hike out of the mountains.
I don’t mind.
I want every part of her.
“Text me later,” I say, pressing a kiss against her forehead then taking a step back, keeping hold of her fingers until the last second.
She nods. “Sounds good.”
I turn reluctantly, wishing she were coming over right now, and head outside to finish up unloading. There isn’t a ton left, but what’s Busy’s I leave on her porch and what’s mine I set outside my own front door. I’ll need to do a thorough clean of the tent and some of my other gear before I store it away, but for now, I just want to take a shower and rinse off all this dirt.
