AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m so sorry, honey,” she says. “I feel horrible.”
I shake my head. “Hey, she’s a kid. She’s going to fall and hurt herself sometimes, you know?”
“I know,” she replies, planting her hands on the evil coffee table and pushing herself up to stand next to me. “Doesn’t make it any easier to see this sweetie crying like that.”
Mom lightly touches Junie’s arm, her eyes gentle as she watches my daughter.
“Ihatehearing her cry. I can’t handle it.”
At that, mom gives me a knowing glance. “Oh I remember that feeling.”
“How long until it goes away?”
She holds up both hands, her fingers crossed. “Any day now.”
I snort. “Great.”
We move into the kitchen, starting the handover routine we’ve begun now that she’s watching Junie full time.
“She took two naps today, so she might have some extra energy tonight,” she offers, shoving various items into the diaper bag I drop off every morning. “And she refused to eat the broccoli at lunch.”
I gasp. “Junie Bee!” I exclaim, wiggling her in my arms. “You didn’t eat yourbroccoli? But it’s your favorite!”
Junie giggles through a watery expression.
“No child loves broccoli,” my mom teases, giving Junie’s stomach a poke.
“It’s really her favorite,” I say, shaking my head. “I don’t know why she loves it so much but…” I shrug. “I’ll try to feed it to her for dinner. She might have just been in a mood.”
“I mean…do you want to stay and eat dinner withustonight?” Mom gives me a smile. “I’m making chicken piccata.”
I let out a sigh, feeling guilty about my answer before I even speak.
“Thanks for the offer, but I’m wiped. I just want to get home, feed us, give this rugrat some time to run around, and then hit the hay.”
She nods, but I don’t miss the tiny hint of disappointment in her eyes before she turns away quickly and focuses on tucking the last few things into Junie’s diaper bag. I don’t know what caused this weird rift between me and my mom, but things have been stilted ever since I told her I was pregnant. Sure, there isn’t any easy way to hear that your youngest daughter is going to be the first to make you a grandmother when she’s only 20 and single and already six months along.
Not one of my finest moments.
It took me a while to muster up the courage to tell my family about the pregnancy, long enough that the reactions were understandably bigger than they would have been if I’d told them straight away. But mom just…checked out, almost completely, something she’sneverdone before in my entire life. It hasn’t ever felt like she’s really checked back in, not with me at least. With Junie, absolutely. She’s a wonderful grandmother. And the fact that she watches my daughter every day? Her willingness to make that sacrifice so Junie has someone she loves watching her every day instead of strangers?
It’s amazing, and I’m so lucky. But that stiff awkwardness is still there between us, and I don’t know how to fix it. So I just let it be. Someday, we’ll figure it out, I’m sure.
Well, I hope we will.
Surely, things won’talwaysbe like this. When I was younger, I was the troublemaker, but I still always felt like I could go to my mom when things went sideways.
Maybethat’swhat the issue really is. It felt like, with the pregnancy, I’d finally pushed her too far. I’d finally gotten intoomuch trouble, causedtoomuch of a problem. While part of me understands that my mother is entitled to her emotions and opinions, I guess there was something inside me that broke when I realized the truth: therewasa limit to how much she was willing to put up with.
It makes me sound selfish, I know, but as the baby of the family, the one who always felt a little bit forgotten and a little bit on the outside, the one thing that comforted me whenever I felt the most forgotten and alone was believing I was loved, even if I wasn’t always understood.
Now, I’m not so sure.
Mom and I exchange our goodbyes and talk vaguely about another family dinner in the next week or two, and then I head out, wishing I knew what to do or say to make things…better. Unfortunately, finding the right thing to say hasn’t ever been my strong suit.
When I get home, I shove open the front door and set Junie down.
“Run wild, baby girl.”
