AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Glancing down, I realize I’m still wearing my coveralls. “Oh, yeah.” I laugh, slightly embarrassed. “We’re trying to get the inside of the store painted before we get the bookshelves put up. Except it looks more like baby poop than sage so I’m going to have to completely repaint the back wall, which is…” I trail off, not wanting to ramble too much.
Reid’s smile grows. “Well, that’s unfortunate.” He glances behind me briefly before returning his gaze to mine. “Can I help at all? I’m pretty good with a paint roller.”
I’m tempted to take him up on it, though it’s more from the selfish vantage point of wanting to get to know him better than because I actually need the help. I don’t want to come across as the needy girl who can’t do anything without assistance.
“That’s alright.” I bat a hand his way. “I appreciate it though. Briar’s actually paying me to do it, and I can’t afford to pay you myself.”
“I wasn’t assuming you’d pay me.” He chuckles. “I was just offering because apparently it’s important to get to know your neighbors, you know? Engage in small talk, ask about how things are going.”
Something tiny blooms in my chest at his words, knowing he’s taken the things I said and tucked them away to remember. I watch him for a long moment, seriously considering his offer. A montage of scenes plays through my head. The two of us painting together. Maybe a quick paint fight. Rolling around on the tarp, paint in my hair and maybe other places it shouldn’t be.
Andthatis why I decline.
“I really do appreciate it, but I’ll be fine.”
Part of me thinks I see a bit of disappointment in his eyes, but I bet I’m just imagining it. Surely.
“Well, I’ll let you get on to where you’re going, then,” he says, nodding at me. “Good to see you, Busy.”
I smile. “You, too.”
We both turn at the same time and walk in opposite directions. For whatever reason, I find it oddly difficult to walk away from him. Not only did I want to take him up on his offer of painting help, I also oh-so-briefly considered asking him what he’s doing for lunch. Which would have been foolish.
Reid is…so gorgeous. So unbelievably handsome he’s almost hard to look at.
I let out a sigh. I thought I’d moved on from this adolescent crush, really and truly. But in just two short weeks, the man has officially planted himself back into the same position he occupied before: the star of my daydreams.
Not that it matters.
Taking a seat on the familiar bench I’ve been sitting on with Briar, I pull my sandwich and water bottle out of my purse. The last thing I need right now is to be looking at any man the way my eyes seem to peruse Reid every time he’s near.
The Busy I used to be wouldn’t have been so cautious. She would have stared him right in the face then given him elevator eyes and a playful smirk. Flirted her heart out and hoped it would result in a fun night or two.
Now, though…I know better.
I mean, obviously I can’t lump all men in with my ex. Jay was…well, he wasn’t good for me. I doubt he’ll be good for anyone, for that matter. But when things between us didn’t work out—exactly as I expected—I resigned myself to a life of single mom-ing it. The idea of managing a childandnavigating a new relationship just feels too daunting. Besides, I don’t want anyone inserting themselves into my life and making things any more challenging than they already are.
Maybe that’s harsh. Maybe that’s me just looking at everything as a half-empty glass. Maybe that’s me refusing to see something that could be so much better than being on my own.
But that’s the thing…itcouldbe better—finding a man and falling in love—but it also could be much, much worse. And that’s the thing I’m not willing to take a risk on. I used to be that girl. The risk taker. The one who was willing to bet big and lose bigger if it meant I gave it a chance.
But I can’t afford to be that person anymore, not now that I have Junie. Now, it’s all about the safe choices, the things that will give her the best chance at a happy, healthy life. It’s the main reason I came home.
It’s also the reason I will need to continue to choose to do it all alone.
When I open the door to my parents’ house on Friday afternoon and spot my mom holding a sobbing Junie, I’m instantly on high alert.
“She’s okay, I promise,” mom says as I fly across the entryway and over to where she’s sitting on the floor of the living room. “She just took a small tumblerightbefore you walked in the door. Bonked her head on the edge of the coffee table.”
I pluck Junie from my mother’s embrace and snuggle her close, my entire body radiating in pain as my daughter cries in my arms. There is nothing that hurts as badly as hearing your child cry. Nothing.
“You okay, sweet girl?” I ask, my voice gentle as I rock her slowly, trying to use my own calm as a way to help calm her down. I place a kiss on her forehead and try to examine her for a bump or red mark. “Where does it hurt?”
Junie takes a hiccupping breath, her tears beginning to subside. Then she points at a spot on the other side of her head, and when I turn her to look, I see some faint redness.
“Yeah, sweet girl. Looks like you got a little knock, huh?”
My daughter nods then tucks herself against me, her hands gripping me tightly. When I glance at my mom, I find her watching us with a concerned expression.
