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I’d taken a chance with Mo, and he’d proven once again that I shouldn’t get involved with a man. The vision of him rolling his suitcase away that afternoon had been etched into my brain, never to be forgotten. These sorts of lessons needed to be remembered so they didn’t have to be painfully repeated. Wasn’t that supposed to be what made humans a superior species? Our ability to learn from the past?
I had a knack for making the same mistake and expecting a different result. If I hadn’t gotten home early that day, Mo’s retreat from my life would have amounted to a note on the table. As it was, the short argument and bout of crying hadn’t made things any easier. But because it had been harder, that made the lesson clearer.
Mo had never intended us to last. He’d said as much when I’d caught him on his way out. To him, I was merely an easy lay—a plaything to warm his bed, cook his meals, and fetch his beers.
I slammed my fist into the bed, remembering how I’d been played, how I’d missed the lies, how I’d deceived myself about his trips.
After professions of love and hints of a coming engagement, complete with a ring shopping trip, how could he just up and leave? Because he was a deceitful, lying bastard like they all were, that’s how. He’d interviewed for a job in Phoenix months before without telling me. He’d planned his getaway—a trip that didn’t include me—weeks ahead of time.
I’d found out later that he’d given his work four weeks’ notice, timing his departure just after his annual bonus was paid out.
The skunk had lied to my face about his multiple trips to Phoenix. To top it all off, after he left, his Facebook status had never changed to single. Photos of him with another girl had only taken days to appear.
Mo had taught me that my antennae for such things sucked, and stalking him on Facebook to learn that had been the ultimate humiliation. Learning that I probably hadn’t been the only girl in his life for months had me contemplating a quick trip to Phoenix for revenge.
Sandy had luckily talked me out of it. At the time Lara needed me here more than I needed revenge on Mo. An arrest in Arizona for any of the half dozen things I’d considered doing to him would’ve only put Lara in danger. Since then, I’d come to the conclusion that he wasn’t worth it. He’d been a mistake is all, a lesson.
Josh’s phone call, and the talk of him going on to another assignment had set off alarm bells for me. My antennae might not be great at this, but I could tell when something seemed familiar.
Getting into a relationship with a guy who might leave had to be a non-starter for me, and as enticing as the electric attraction between us was, Josh represented that danger in spades.
I mean, sure, he’d said he didn’t intend to leave. But how did I know that wasn’t just another in a long string of lies to get into my pants? A deception was a deception, and none were any better than the others. They all led down a path of heartbreak and remorse—a path I’d vowed never to walk again.
Still, something tugged at my heart. Had Josh ever really told me a lie? I dared myself to come up with a concrete example and failed. The effort only resulted in a smile in my darkened room. Hadn’t he rescued me with a flight from Sioux City, which benefited Lara more than me?
Hadn’t it been Josh who’d agreed to let Lara come back to the company to clear her name? Hadn’t he been the one to summon his lawyer friend to my defense against that awful detective tonight?
Take that, reactive nature.Tell me what you’ve got besides his father’s desire to put him on another assignment that Josh said he wouldn’t accept.
The mental argument made me smile even broader. If I concentrated, I could still imagine the feel of Josh’s hand on my boob, the taste of him on my lips, and the feel of his body up against mine.
His father’s phone call had interrupted what could have been a great end to a shitty evening.
Sandy’s sayings forced themselves to the front of my consciousness. “If you don’t take the first step, you can never round the bases,” she’d told me. And another pithy text message of hers. “There may be a lot of fish in the sea, but be careful throwing a good one back, because you’ll never hook him again.”
If I didn’t have a real reason to push Josh away, what was I doing now except punishing myself and throwing back the best fish I’d ever hooked? He wasn’t Mo. If anything, he’d proven himself time and again to be nothing like Mo.
Josh said I needed to learn to be more decisive.
In the dark, I slipped out of bed and found the mouthwash by my sink.
If I moved fast enough, maybe I could still salvage this.
* * *
Josh
Lying awake,I heard another noise, this one upstairs instead of down.
When the handle to the old door on this bedroom squeaked, I slipped to the floor and grabbed my trusty stick before stepping toward the entrance.
Even in the dim moonlight, I saw the door crack open. Winding up for a swing, I tensed to attack the intruder.
A short, shadowy figure squeezed through the door. “Josh,” she squealed as she saw me. “What the fuck?”
I flicked on the light and blinked back the brightness. “Jesus H. Christ, what are you doing sneaking around in the dark?”
Nicole’s mouth fell open as she saw the field hockey stick in my hands. “I… Uh…” She moved to the light switch and with a quick movement shrouded us in darkness once again.
