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The bottle of scotch in my credenza called to me, and I poured a glass.
The liquid burn did nothing to soothe me, so I put it down.
“I’m going for a walk,” I told Cindy as I passed her desk.
With my phone in the shop, I was off my electronic leash and free to take as much time as I wanted.
Downstairs, I decided on a few quick laps of the block to get the blood flowing so I could think.
Chapter 42
Jennifer
I sat in my car.My legs shook so badly I was afraid to start it. I couldn’t drive like this.
Charged by the SEC? Insider trading? That was crazy. I hadn’t written the articles, and Dennis hadn’t known anything about my part in their creation at the time. But there was no way to prove a negative. The accusation alone would taint both of us. I’d never get another accounting job, and he could lose the company. Even being investigated by the SEC would be a black mark that would follow us both around forever. My actions had wounded him much worse than before.
As hard as I tried, I couldn’t stop the tears. It wasn’t like I could go back to being a bank teller either. Not only had I likely ruined my relationship with the one good man I’d managed to find, but now my career future officially sucked. Perhaps I could enter the wonderful world of hospitality services, or food preparation.
Pulling a tissue from my purse, I wiped my eyes and summoned the courage to drive home. I wasn’t ever coming back to a job like this. An SEC investigation would preclude any kind of corporate finance work. It had been my passion, and this would end it.
The hardest part would be having to tell my sister and Billy I’d let them down.
I’d been naïve to think Dennis could easily forgive me for the damage the articles had caused. And even though somehow he had found a way to do so, it would be insane to expect his forgiveness for inadvertently bringing the SEC down on him, especially if he lost the company he’d created.
There was no coming back from this.
I drove slowly and reached home without getting in an accident.
Upstairs, I was pouring the first of my planned several dozen glasses of wine when my cell rang.
I’d already ignored a call from the company number, which was probably Syd with more bad news.
I pulled the last pin from my hair and shook it out before checking the phone.
Cindy’s name was on the screen.
I couldn’t bring myself to ignore her the way I wanted to. “Hello?”
“How are you holding up?” she asked.
“I’m already one glass into a bottle of wine, if that tells you anything.”
“I know this isn’t any of my business…but he needs you.”
“Who?” I asked stupidly.
“The man who’s been pretending forever to not be in love with you.”
The words hit me hard. She thought he still loved me.
I plopped down on the couch. “You think so?”
“I think you’re smart enough to know the answer to that.”
I nodded silently. I knew how I felt, and even if he’d only recently said it, every day we spent together he’d shown me his feelings in his kidding, his little gestures, and in the way he looked at me. It added up to what every girl wanted from a man.
From the first morning he took me to his beach house, it had been all about me—about expanding my happiness horizons. From the silly listening to the ocean routine to the fun new things he got me to try every weekend, it had been about pulling me out of my shell. And it had worked, without me ever being focused on it.
