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“So we keep on doing what we’re doing?” Elliot asked.
“We might as well,” I said. “I’ll ask around in Inner Beast Management.”
“And I’ll ask in Culinary Delights,”Jasmine said.
The others agreed to do the same and we eventually split up to head to our various afternoon classes.
Unfortunately, Inner Beast Management was neither boringnorfun. There was a note on the door to meet in the Level 3 Lab.
This particular lab had a very small outer chamber where we all gathered to receive instructions before entering the larger chamber.
“This first simulation should be fairly easy for most of you to handle,” Professor Diaz said. “It’s your standard fear assignment.”
Everyone around me groaned.
“What’s a fear assignment?” I muttered to Tabitha, whostood to my right.
“Basically, the simulator throws your greatest fears at you, one after the other. It pretty much sucks.”
Oh, that was just fucking great. Because I needed more time with my fucking fears.
“I have no idea what the simulator will generate for you because everyone is different,” Professor Diaz continued. “You may thinkyouknow based on your experiences last year. Let me simply remind you that our fears change from day to day and certainly from year to year. So be prepared. I guarantee you will not have the same experience this time as you did last time.
“However, your job is the same as always. You must maintain control of your inner beast. Whatever you have to do. Get into a meditative state of mindbefore you enter, stay in the moment, be at one with your inner beast, say your mantras andbreathethrough the entire exercise.”
I raised my hand.
“Yes, Ms. Mitchell.”
“I’m sorry, I just need a bit of clarification. Bycontrol, do you mean we’re not supposed to shift at all or that we’re supposed to shift, but not fight, or fight but not kill?”
Twitters spread through the room, but I didn’t care. I just kept my eyes on Professor Diaz, trying to determine the purpose of this lab.
“Let me make myself clear,” she said.
Great idea. I barely refrained from saying that out loud. Yay me for being polite and shit.
“If your inner beast makes anappearance, it should be becauseyou, the human, made the conscious choice to allow it out.”
Miki-Leopard choose.
Not according to Professor Diaz.
Similarly,” she continued, “if your beast attacks, it must be becauseyoudirected it to attack. In other words, Ms. Mitchell,youmust be in control, not your beast.”
Miki-leopard not beast.
I know, Miki.
“Now, are there any other questions?”
I also knew that this class wasn’t going to be as helpful as I’d hoped, no matter what Elliot thought. Maybe that was my fault since I found the entire premise of the class—meditation techniques and becoming one with my leopard—to be, ashe’d put it, a bunch of hooey.
More than anything, though, it was because I was finding the concept ofcontrollingMiki-Leopard more distasteful by the minute.
“All right, class.” Professor Diaz clapped her hands. “One at a time, single file, enter the simulation and good luck.”
Even though students walked in right before me and I assume right after me, I saw none of them in the simulation with me.
