AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I nodded and then sucked in a breath. If only I hadn’t spoken to Noah. That was a mistake. My hand shook as I went to the locker room and retrieved my purse.
Mercy followed me. “You’re not okay. Would this have anything to do with Noah Armstrong being back in town?”
A stilted laugh came out of me. “I’m not in the mood to discuss it, okay?”
“It’s okay to be rattled,” she told me, shaking her head. “And it’s okay to talk to your best friend about it.”
I kept walking, holding up a hand. “Thank you, but I can’t.”
“You’re welcome, and it’s okay.”
I smiled a little. The annoying thing about a small town was that everyone knew your business, but there were benefits to that. Mercy knew I wouldn’t want to talk about Noah Armstrong.
Once I was on my own again, I got in the elevator and pressed the button for the parking level. This wasn’t a huge hospital, but it had been built two years ago and had a parking garage, which I was grateful for. I would definitely be grateful for it in the winter. Winters were brutal here. I’d come in the spring, and now the end of June was upon us. The best time to be in Refuge Falls was in the summer.
Too bad seeing Noah had put a damper on all of that.
I walked to my car and settled into the driver’s seat, musing that Noah no doubt blamed me for our breakup. But I blamed him for … too much. For everything. The accident. For saving me.
He never should have saved me.
I sucked in a deep breath. My eyes burned at the familiar resentment stabbing through me.
No. I wouldn’t think about the past eight years.
Picking up the water bottle in my cup holder and taking a sip, I tried to clear my mind, but thoughts of my brother, Greg, bubbled to the surface.
How could those memories not come back to me after seeing Noah? The three of us had been inseparable. Until the accident. Noah blamed himself for it. I blamed Noah for it, too. It was his fault. He had chosen to save someone besides my brother.
He should have chosen my brother.
Tears slipped down my cheeks, but I clamped down on that train of thought. That’s what my therapist had taught me: the thoughts might be there, but I could decide how much energy I gave them.
Deep breath. In, two, three, and out, two, three.
Coming back here was supposed to be a fresh start. I’d thought I was safe because Noah steered clear of this town. I’d run into his sister, Kayla, at my grandmother’s funeral last year when I’d found out I’d inherited her lake house. Kayla had toldme Noah only ever came home at Christmas. I’d talked myself into coming back home because I thought I would be safe.
Home. What a funny word. Yes, Refuge Falls was my home, but it wasn’t because of the home I’d been raised in. My parents were the kind of people who never really wanted children, and they spoke about having twins like it was a huge inconvenience. They had always told me and Greg that we were a huge “oops” and they had important journalism stories to write. They’d left most of the child-rearing up to our grandmother, which had suited us just fine. They’d sold their home in Refuge Falls a few years ago and were now based in New York, a place that seemed to suit them.
My mother had told me at my grandmother’s funeral that I should sell the place and move to the city. Focus on getting more education. Maybe become a doctor. Pfft. I liked being a nurse. My parents were all about degrees and who you knew and what conspiracy to write about next; I wasn’t interested in any of that.
It had been strange having that conversation with my mom. She and Dad had never really taken part in my life. Sure, they had been there for every milestone event. They’d shown up at my high school graduation long enough for a picture and dinner before jet-setting back to whatever story they’d been working on. My grandma and I had gone over to the Armstrongs’ house to celebrate instead.
The Armstrongs. Ugh. I’d tried to steer clear of them since I’d been home, but that was nearly impossible. The family was large and very involved in the town.
It was difficult to stay away from anyone in town, actually. Hardly a day after I’d moved back, Mercy had cornered me in the grocery store. She’d grilled me about a lot of things, but her main goal was to ask me about working with her at the hospital. They needed nurses, and I could help. I’d taken the job, and even though I got looks and people still said stupid and hurtfulthings about the loss of my brother, it was a relief to work. I liked helping others, and it got my mind off Brian.
As if just thinking about my ex could conjure him, my phone buzzed with a call from him. I pushed decline, but then it buzzed again. It’d been over six months since the divorce, but he wouldn’t quit bugging me.
Huffing in annoyance, I drove out of the parking garage and toward the highway.
My ex was another mistake from my past. No one knew the truth about him and me. That was good; there were so many things I was ashamed of. I was grateful my grandmother had left me her house when she’d passed. I hated that she was gone from this earth, but her house had given me the freedom I needed, as well as the courage to file for divorce papers. We’d only been married two years, but I should have divorced him sooner.
The first time he’d hit me, I’d been struck equally hard by shame.
Swallowing, I pounded the steering wheel. Why was all of this affecting me today? It probably had something to do with seeing Noah so unexpectedly.
The path not taken. That’s what Noah symbolized for me. A path where our lives would have been intertwined, but … it hadn’t happened.
