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“Yeah,” he replied, unsure where all this was going, but pleased that Liv was there to act as a mediator because it would’ve gone very differently if she hadn’t been present. They got up and he glanced at Jess. “Back in a sec.”
He took Liv into the living room and shut the door.
She turned to him, grasping his hands. “Listen. Maybe you should give her a chance.”
His heart thudded and sank right to the bottom of his stomach. “What?”
Her eyes were wide and shining. “Just hear her out. She was in a bad place, vulnerable. Sounds like her mood was low. She made a mistake with Rory, when instead she should’ve spoken to you to see whether you could’ve worked things out.”
He held her hands tightly, trying to combat the feeling that she was slipping away. “It doesn’t matter now. It’s all in the past.”
She ran a hand up his arm and he felt as if the resulting bolt of electricity might stop his heart.
“Remember how devastated you were when she left? You said yourself you wanted her back. What if this is her coming to her senses?”
Arran’s head was swimming. She was touching him, making him want to kiss her and undress her and do things to her on the sofa that might very well harm the integrity of the furniture. And yet the words coming out of her mouth were that he should consider getting back with his ex?
“What if you could work it out? Don’t you owe it to yourself? Not to mention Jayce.”
He shook his head.
She stepped closer. “If you don’t try, you might regret it.”
She went to release him but he held on to her. “I don’t want to give her a chance. I want us to see where this goes.”
Something shifted in her gaze, and her eyes shimmered behind the lenses of her cute purple-framed glasses. She blinked, and her voice caught. “We can’t, Arran. Not when all this is still playing out.”
He searched her face. “It isn’t playing out. It’s ended. And there’s no rewinding; this is a DVD, not a VHS situation.”
She smiled weakly. “Just listen to her. For Jayce’s sake. Your pride might’ve stopped you from convincing her to stay last time.” She took a breath, her voice cracking. “I can’t be the one who gets in the way. I refuse to be the third wheel here. You take some time out to think about things and decide what you really want. Then after a couple of months, if what you really want is me, we can talk again.”
He couldn’t speak.Is this what a heart attack feels like?He rubbed his chest, swallowing the painful lump that was swelling in his throat. Maybe she wouldn’t be saying all this if she knew how he felt. Then it dawned on him. The third-wheel complex. This was all down to the way her father had made her feel like a side character in her own story. How she’d been brought up to pipe down and let other people have their way. Just because she’d managed to voice it to him a few days ago didn’t suddenly make it all better. It would take much more than that. Much more from him, and then likely his support while she got to the place where she felt comfortable inseeking some therapy. This wasn’t the sort of thing that he could kiss better for her. Plus, all he’d done for the past fucking year was voice how he wanted to steer clear of relationships—like one of these Nice GuyTMpricks who got his heart broken once and then swore off women for eternity. He’d sown the seed that he wanted his ex back into the love of his life’s head, and then nurtured it, like a fucking dickhead.
He had to give her the time and space she was asking for. Not to reconsider his relationship with Jess—he had no doubts whatsoever that was over. But to help Liv accept that this was for real. That she was it for him.
He reached for her, taking in the way she came to him readily, nestling her face against his chest. He knew in the very core of his being that she loved him back. “Listen. There’s a lot I need to say to you, but I know you’re not ready to hear it. So this is what we’re going to do.” He stroked her hair. “I’m going to give you some space. Not a couple of months, but as long as I can hold out. And then I’m going to tell you how I feel about you and that I want us to be together. Okay?”
She let out a little sob against his chest.
“Shh, it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay. We’re going to get through this.”
She pulled back, her face wet with tears, doubt written all over it. “I hope so.” Her voice cracked, and he wished that he could make her believe it now. But he’d done this damage, at least in part, and now he had to work to make it better. Words weren’t enough. He needed to show her he loved her, to prove his love, before he voiced it.
He kissed her cheek. “I’m going to be there in the background, every day. Showing you how I feel. Just how you’ve been there for me every day for the past year.”
There was a sliver of hope in her eyes, and that was all he needed. That was enough. He rubbed the moisture from her cheeks,then took her to the front door, where he knelt down to put her shoes on for her, the way he’d done on Skye in the aftermath of her attack. She rested her hand on his shoulder, watching him, and he hoped the symbolism of him kneeling before her wasn’t lost on her.
Then he rose to kiss her goodbye, determined that this was only a goodbye for now. He brushed his lips to hers, sliding his fingers into the soft curls of her hair and rubbing his thumb tenderly over her cheek. He slid his tongue along the seam of her lips and she opened for him, just like he knew she’d open her heart to him eventually—if he was patient enough. When he pushed his tongue inside, she let out the sweetest little moan. He held the back of her head more firmly in response, letting his fingers massage her scalp, soothing her as he commanded her with his mouth.You’re mine, and I’m yours.
When he broke off, he held her gaze for a moment. “I’ll see you soon. And in the meantime, you’ll be hearing from me.”
Eyes wide, she swallowed hard, giving him the tiniest of nods, and then she opened the door and stepped out.
He watched her leave before closing the door and leaning on it for a second. Then he returned to the kitchen, where Jess was sitting at the table.
“I’m sorry for barging in,” she said quietly. “I didn’t mean to make Liv leave.”
He took a seat across from her, folding his hands as he looked at her. He’d stepped back and allowed her to move on when she’d left, albeit after an initial discussion during which he’d asked her to come back and work on their relationship. However, once she’d made it clear that wasn’t what she wanted, he’d accepted it. It had hurt more than anything in his life before, but he’d done it with the help of his family, Sam, Nico, and Liv.
