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14
Morgan couldn’t wipe the smile from his face. And it felt damn good to be so happy, content, at ease. Because some days, no matter what he did, things just didn’t seem to go right. But thankfully, today wasn’t one of those days. In fact, today was the exact opposite. It was one of those days where everything seemed to fall perfectly into place, like the universe was conspiring in his favour. He’d woken up with the smile on his face, feeling rejuvenated after a peaceful night’s sleep. He’d gotten dressed and headed downstairs to the kitchen, where he brewed himself a strong cup of coffee and actually sat down to enjoy it. And as he made his way outside to start his daily tasks, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of gratitude. The sun was shining brightly in the sky, and the air was cool and crisp. It was the perfect day to get some work done on his treasured property and soak up the fresh air. Everything seemed brighter and more beautiful today. Even the kookaburras sounded happier than normal, their laughter filling the air with a cheerful melody.
Without a doubt in his mind, he put it all down to the gorgeous woman he was so lucky to have loved so deeply, and the connection they’d renewed over the past ten days. If only it could be more, if only he could get down on one knee again and ask her to be his wife – but he didn’t want to focus on what they couldn’t have, he wanted to focus on the close friendship they did have. Because that, he knew in his heart of hearts, was priceless. His thoughts drifted back to the night before. The way Jess had looked up at him with those tear-stained eyes, and the way he’d held her close as she cried, it had all felt so natural, so right. She really was the most amazing soul he’d ever met and, he guessed, ever would.
With Jess consuming his thoughts the hours flew by and before Morgan knew it the sun was slowly slipping from the sky, setting it on blazing fire – twilight would be hinting at arrival real soon – he did the math. There was about thirty minutes of sunshine left. After sweating through three clean shirts, it was almost time to be calling it a day. He took off his wide-brimmed hat and wiped his brow with the back of his arm as he surveyed the new railings of the round yard with quiet pride. His day of hard yakka had paid off, and it was looking pretty schmick. Tomorrow he’d start spending a bit of time with his newest horsey recruit. And he couldn’t wait to make friends with the striking blonde palomino, aptly named Malibu.
He glanced over to where the rescued horse was grazing in one of the top paddocks. She’d been there for a few weeks, relaxing in her new home. He’d wanted her to have some quiet time, after her past few years of being owned by a man with no heart for horses. The bastard. If only he could take an iron rod to him, as the cruel SOB had done to Malibu, but hopefully karma would have her way with such a despicable person in time. He looked forward to the challenge of showing Malibu that some humans could be kind, could be trusted. The key was to work her on the ground, on a long lunging rope, give her enough space but also keep her in check while changing directions often to keep her guessing, so she didn’t become too sure of herself, but instead placed her trust in him. It would require persistence, patience and skill, because rushing her would result in her losing more of her spirit, and he didn’t want that. He wanted her spirit to resurface and shine bright. He had high hopes for her, and sensed she’d be a keeper.
If only he could say the same about Jess. He would have kept her safe and happy for all of their days together. But it wasn’t to be. On the up side, he was beginning to understand the workings of their new-found friendship, and respected the boundaries of it, but he’d be a fool to try and tell himself that the intense feelings he had for her didn’t have the power to overcome him, if he let his willpower slip. He sucked in a sharp breath at just the thought of doing so. With her long flowing hair, and eyes green enough to pierce through snow, one lengthy glance from her and he was almost a goner. Every. Single. Time. He knew there was no chance for them, no chance at all. She had a life far away from here. And his life was a far cry from what she’d grown accustomed to. Even so, she’d always remain the absolute love of his life. And he was going to have to find a way to be okay with that so that he could meet another wonderful woman, to marry and settle down with. Because damn, he wanted a family, and a life with a loving woman by his side.
But would anyone else ever live up to Jessica Sabatini?
It would be a tough gig, that was for sure.
He sighed at his suddenly disheartening train of thought. He knew he should be happy, at peace even, with what he’d already accomplished in his life, but he just couldn’t seem to get rid of a deep restlessness that made him feel like he hadalmosteverything, and yet nothing. They’d been so in love, so happy, so hopeful for their future together. Or so he’d thought. Even though she’d lost so much, gone through so much heartbreak with the deaths of Enzo and Julie, deep down he still couldn’t understand why she hadn’t turned to him for the support she’d needed, instead of running for the hills of Tuscany. Hell, he’d even believed she’d eventually return to him. But she never had. Instead, she’d gone and married another man within a year of leaving him. And it was this part that stung him the most. Finding out she was another man’s wife had been one of the hardest days of his life, the pain of it on par with the day she’d left Silverton Shores, and him, behind. Knowing she and Salvatore hadn’t worked out was bittersweet. He felt sorry for her, and her daughter – broken families were never nice – but it also gave him a tiny bit of hope that maybe, by some miracle, by some stroke of luck, or fate, or destiny, whatever it was that made this world spin round, this time she might come back to him, if given enough time and space, if shown that love and trust had been there all along. The emotional merry-go-round he was on when it came to her was both invigorating and dizzying, and at some point he knew he was going to have to get off.
Familiar footfalls had him spinning to meet her gaze, and he quickly swallowed down the mixed emotions his contemplations had evoked. ‘Oh, hey, Jess.’
Jess smiled, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. ‘Hey, Morgan. The spruced-up training yard looks awesome.’ She looked left to right as she walked up to him. ‘You’ve done a great job.’
‘Thanks.’ His heart skipped a beat at the sight of her, and it took everything in him to not reach out and pull her into his arms. ‘I was just thinking about working with Malibu tomorrow,’ he said, trying to keep his voice steady. ‘It’s time, I think, for her to get to know me.’
Jess nodded, her eyes sparkling with interest. ‘I’d love to watch, if that’s okay. I’ve always been fascinated by the way you work with horses.’
‘Sure thing.’ His heart leapt at the thought of spending more time with her. ‘It’s not going to be anything too exciting, though, just some groundwork to start off with.’
‘No worries, I can’t wait to see you two bonding.’
He couldn’t help but feel a sense of warmth spread through his chest with her enthusiasm. ‘How was your day with Shanti and Annie?’
‘Long. But productive.’ A look of exhaustion crossed her face. ‘Thankfully we’re almost there with all the wedding prep.’
‘Glad to hear it.’ He ducked through the railings of the yard. ‘It sounds like we could both do with an icy cold beer, you keen?’
Jess pulled an are-you-kidding face. ‘Damn straight I am.’
‘Great, let’s head back home and grab ourselves one.’
Side by side, they wandered back towards the homestead with Teeny hot on their heels. Taking the steps two at a time, Morgan flew past Jess and opened the little bar fridge at the corner of the verandah, grabbing two cold beers. He handed one to her, then they headed over to the swing chair and got comfortable. The silence between them was companionable, so much so that he didn’t feel any need to fill it as they sat and watched the sunset. And as the sun eventually dipped below the radiant horizon, a sense of peace settled over him. It was the way things always were when they were together, just the two of them, as if the world slowed down. They’d been through so much pain and heartache, but they’d managed to find a way back to each other, even if it was just as friends. Appreciating this, he swigged his beer and let out a contented sigh. It was times like these that he cherished the most, sharing the simple pleasures of life with the people he loved reminded him what was truly important.
Sighing in the same appreciative way, Jess shifted beside him. As she crossed her legs beneath her, her thigh brushed against his, and his heart skipped a beat. Her presence swiftly surrounded him, and he was suddenly, intensely, aware of her. It was so easy to forget they were just friends, and so hard to accept there was nothing more between them. He knew their old flame would be so easy to rekindle and catch fire, but he wasn’t going to risk being left with nothing but a pile of ashes. So, tearing his gaze away from her, he focused back on the darkening sky. The first star was starting to twinkle, and with it he felt a sense of wonder at the enormity of the universe. There was something humbling about realising just how small and insignificant he was, and yet, at the same time, how he felt incredibly connected to everything around him, and this included Jess.
Her hand gently brushed against his, and he turned to her, noting her eyes were brimming with emotion. ‘Is everything okay?’ he asked, his voice soft.
She took a deep breath as her gaze remained locked on his. ‘I was just thinking,’ she said slowly, ‘about how much I’ve missed being with you, in our own little world. It’s like nothing has changed, even though everything has.’
A lump of raw emotion formed in his throat, but he forced it down. ‘Yeah,’ he said, keeping his voice steady. ‘I know what you mean.’ He tipped his head and shrugged. ‘It’s strange how life can suddenly take us in such different directions. But I’m grateful that we can still be here together, like this.’
Jess nodded with her eyes still trained on his. ‘Me too,’ she whispered, and before he knew it, she was leaning in, her lips so dangerously close to his.
And he was about to succumb to her, to them, but his willpower stormed to the forefront and kicked some sense into him. He, they, couldn’t do this. He yanked himself back, against the side of the chair, well out of her reach, unable to speak. Her eyes widened and a flush rose on her cheeks before she turned away from him and focused intensely on Teeny at her feet. In the long awkward silence, he heard the lowing of cattle, and the pounding of his racing heart. He inwardly winced. He needed to put a stop to this, before they undid all their hard work at keeping this connection platonic.
But Jess was the first to speak. ‘I’m sorry, Morgan. I didn’t mean to make things awkward.’
‘It’s fine,’ he replied, trying to keep his voice even. ‘You just caught me off guard, that’s all.’
‘Of course, it would have.’ She took a long sip of her beer. ‘Hell, it caught me off guard, too.’ She sighed sadly, shaking her head slowly. ‘It’s tough, not giving in to what we both know could still be there, if we let it.’ She shrugged a little while picking at her beer label, then looked back at him. ‘I promise I won’t do anything like that again.’
